


Your guardian angel

by Heresetrash



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkwardness, Cybersex, Gaming, Geeks, Healslut, M/M, Overwatch References, Praise Kink, Submissive Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:09:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heresetrash/pseuds/Heresetrash
Summary: Ben is quite the geek and spends most of his days reading comics and playing his favourite game, Overwatch. When Phasma jokingly introduces him to the concept of healsluts, he finds it weird at first, but then he gets to know GingerSpice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just leveled up on the trash scale, starting this fic that combines my love of Kylux with my love for Overwatch. I’m not sorry.
> 
> There will be some Overwatch/gaming lingo riddled throughout this chapter and the coming ones. I hope it's not too much of a bother for anyone who doesn't know the game.

_Prepare to attack._

_Select your hero._

Ben locked down Mercy; the combined healer and buffer of the game. Overwatch's own guardian angel.

“Ah Mercy, my lesbian lover,” Phasma joked over the mic and then continued to choose Pharah: the terror of the sky.

Together, they were one of the most annoying duos in the game.

“Always here for you, baby,” Ben told her.

The two of them played a few matches in the evenings as often as they could.

“How was your day? Meet any cute boys?” asked Phasma as they waited in the starting room, bouncing around and emoting at each other and the other team players.

“Oh yeah, a bunch, because Outland is just riddled with guys wanting my number. There was a line outside the door this morning.”

Phasma snorted. “You should come visit the university library more often.”

“Because of all the geeky gay guys that hang out at your job?”

“No, silly, because of all the geeky gay girls!” She snickered.

Ben rolled his eyes, but secretly, he admired her. While she was equally as much of a geek as he was, she was also gorgeous, cool and popular. People just liked her, and women basically threw themselves at her. Men too, for that matter, but they were always left disappointed.

All in all, Phasma was everything he was not. He was an awkward introvert working in a geek retailer shop who mostly spent his nights and weekends alone, gaming and reading comics. He didn't really like to go out, except to the movies, and that was always with Phasma.

The in-game timer reached 0.

“Let's go!” said Phasma, rocketing out the doors with Ben after her.

They were on the attack, and it didn't start out so bad. Their team did a pretty decent job at pushing in the beginning.

“Arrrrrrgh! Fuck _oooooff,_ Widow!” Phasma suddenly yelled into the mic.

Ben watched as Phasma fell to the ground. Quickly scanning the surrounding area for any dangers, he found it safe to go after her and resurrect her.

“Don't worry, I've got y- oh shit, where the fuck did he come from?”

The Reinhardt came out of nowhere, charging him into a wall.

“What? What happened?”

“I was just smashed by enemy Reinhardt.”

“Ugh, so typical Reinhardt to fuck you up without even asking for consent.”

Ben laughed.

“Nevermind,” said Phasma. “Let's just get the team to group up and try again. We've got this.”

They didn't have it. They didn't have it at all. The enemy team stuck together like glue after that, and they played incredibly well.

“Their Rein is carrying hard,” Ben commented as he desperately tried (and failed) to heal two of his teammates as the tank made absolute mash of them, and then came for him _again._

Not long after, their defeat was inevitable, and when they swapped sides, they were beaten again.

“Stupid game,” Phasma complained as they watched Reinhardt, unsurprisingly, get the play of the game.

They went for another round, hoping this one would be better.

“Hey, we've got the Rein from before on our team now,” Ben commented when they started a new match.

Phasma perked up a little. “We’ve got the smasher on our team?”

“Yup, GingerSpice.”

“Nice, maybe we’ll actually win this time.”

As soon as they had locked in their heroes and they were waiting in the starting room, a message came through on the team chat.

 **GingerSpice** : _Can you stay with me, Mercy? I’ll protect you._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’ll try my best_

“Are you leaving me for Reinhardt?!” Phasma said in mock offense.

“I don't discriminate with my heals. Plus, he asked nicely, unlike you,” Ben teased her back.

The match was great with GingerSpice on their team. He was amazing at tanking, keeping the team together and reminding them to group up. It was so easy for Ben to heal and boost everyone like that. The best thing about him though, was that he was so grateful for Ben’s support (he thanked him all the time). It was a nice change, as most players usually took his job for granted, or even blamed him if they lost.

At the end of the match, GingerSpice asked to stay as a team, and Ben and Phasma accepted. They were on a neverending win streak after that, no doubt thanks to their new tank.

When it was nearing eleven, Ben stretched his arms over his head and rolled his neck, yawning. “I’ve got to go to bed. I’m opening the shop tomorrow,” he told Phasma.

“Alright, good night,” she said. “Play again tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

He quickly wrote a message in the chat.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Gtg. Thanks for the shield_

 **GingerSpice:** _And thank you for all the heals. You did great!_

Ben smiled at the compliment, then logged off.

 

* * *

 

Although it was Ben’s job to open the shop the next day, it came as no surprise to him that his boss, Hux, was already there when he showed up at eight o’clock. He was always there. Sometimes Ben wondered if he lived in the shop, although his clearly meticulous grooming habits proved otherwise.

“Hey,” Ben greeted him, quickly poking his head into his office. He was in front of the computer; two massive stacks of books next to him and what Ben assumed was a cup of very black coffee in his left hand.

“Good morning,” Hux greeted him back, looking at him through his half framed vintage spectacles.

Hux was a bit of an oddball. Looking at him, you would never guess he was a geek, and you would never ever guess that he worked at Outland. Their work attire was pretty casual: just a simple black t-shirt with their logo on the front. But Hux didn’t wear that. Oh no, he wore button-ups accompanied by a manager sign pinned to the right side of his chest, and his red hair was always perfectly sideswept. Ben hadn’t had any deep or meaningful conversations with the guy in the two years he had worked there, but he had come to understand that Hux’s looks were, at least partially, deceiving. He had an extensive knowledge of comics and fantasy literature, and was a massive Doctor Who fan.

“Ben,” said Hux, as Ben turned to walk out into the shop to get everything ready for the day.

He doubled back. “Yeah?”

“It’s your turn to do this month’s comic recommendations. You haven’t forgotten, have you? It’s due tomorrow, and you know how I like to look through them first.”

Ben might have forgotten. Thankfully, comics were his area of expertise, so he could quickly gather a few and write something before handing it to Hux.

“I’ll get it done before lunch, I promise,” he said.

“Good. Thank you, Ben.”

 

* * *

 

When he got home from work later that day, Ben had instant noodles for dinner (very nutritious, yes, he knew) and chilled on the couch in his small apartment while he tried out a new sci-fi show on Netflix (he would give it a 7 on a d20). Then he started up Overwatch and found, to his surprise, a friend request. From GingerSpice.

Ben didn’t play regularly with anyone but Phasma, and he never usually accepted friend requests from strangers he met through the game, but GingerSpice had been such an excellent player, and respectful as well, so he decided to accept it.

He played a couple of matches before a message popped up in the chat window.

_[GingerSpice] started playing Overwatch._

Not too long after, he got a private message.

 **GingerSpice:** _Thanks for accepting the friend request. Do you want to play?_

Knowing Phasma, she probably wouldn't be on for another hour or so. He might as well play a few matches with this guy. Or, who he assumed was a guy. There was no way of knowing, really.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Sure_

Once again, they played some good matches together. GingerSpice flexed between the tanks this time (and he was really good at all of them), while Ben stuck with Mercy (it wasn’t that he couldn’t swap, he just liked her the most). They were a good team, and GingerSpice kept thanking him and telling him when he did a good job. He was clearly more skilled than Ben, and Ben was even able to pick up a few tips from him.

When Phasma logged on, she was genuinely surprised to find him playing with someone else.

“Who on earth are you playing with?”

“Oh, GingerSpice. From last night,“ he explained. “He sent me a friend request. You can join us.”

“You can join us, he says, as if _I’m_ the intruder in this new threesome.”

“Come on,” said Ben. “You know you want to. He’s great.”

Phasma huffed. “Only because he makes sure we win.”

They played three out of four successful matches together. When they got to the fifth one, Phasma said over the mic: “You’ve got Mercy’s Imp skin, right?”

“Yeah, why?” asked Ben.

“Put it on, then when we’re in the starting room, spray paint an arrow and crouch under it,” she told him.

Ben frowned. “What? Why?”

“It’s just a silly thing. Come on, do it,” she coaxed him

“I guess,” he finally agreed. He swapped Mercy’s skin, spray painted the arrow on the wall and crouched under it. He had no idea what it was supposed to do, but not long after, GingerSpice’s Reinhardt came over to him and emoted _Understood._

“Oh my god!” Phasma gasped, before she burst out laughing.

“What?” asked Ben confused. He had no idea what was going on.

“Oh my fucking god, I can’t believe he actually came over. Oh my god!” She cackled into the mic.

“What the fuck did you just make me do?”

Phasma stopped laughing for long enough to explain, “You just offered to be his healslut, and he accepted it.”

“What the hell is a healslut?” Ben asked. The expression was all new to him.

“It means you have to dutifully serve him as his healer now.” Phasma was sounding way too pleased with this.

“I was going to do that anyway.”

She giggled. “There’s a _little_ more to it than that, but I’ll explain later. The match is starting. Just pay him some extra attention. He’ll like it.”

Ben normally tried to equally heal everyone on the team if he could, but because something had clearly just happened, he decided to follow Phasmas’s advice and pay GingerSpice some extra attention. He didn’t quite pocket him, but he stayed close at all times. And GingerSpice seemed very appreciative, perhaps even more so than the day before.

“Can you tell me what this is about now?” Ben demanded from Phasma the second the match was over.

“First of all, I only meant it as a joke and really didn’t think he would respond.”

“You’re making it sound worse when you put warning labels on what you’re about to say,” he pointed out, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know everything about it, but it’s basically gaming BDSM. As a healer, you’re the sub who does what they’re told, and as a tank or dps, you’re the dom who gives the orders.”

“I- _what?”_ Ben was confused. He didn’t see himself as particularly kinky, and this just sounded… weird to him. “How do you get anything sexual out of Overwatch?”

“Different kinks for different people, sweetie. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” said Phasma.

“I don’t want to try it,” Ben stated firmly.

“Are you sure?” Phasma teased. “It might be fun, and god knows you could use a little fun.”

If Phasma had been in the room, Ben would have glared at her and then punched her in the arm. Instead, he groaned and said, “Thank you for pointing out my non-existent sex life.”

“It saddens me that you don’t know how hot you are,” she said. “You _deserve_ to have some fun.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben said sarcastically. While he appreciated Phasma trying, he knew she was only saying that because she was his friend. He was all too aware that he was too tall, his limbs too long, his nose and ears too big, and his hair too unruly. “I’m logging off now.”

“Are you mad at me?” Phasma asked him in a high-pitched, innocent voice.

Ben sighed. “No.” He could never be mad at Phasma. Not for long, at least.

 

* * *

 

Ben didn’t notice the private message from GingerSpice until he came home from work the next day. He dumped down in front of the computer in the corner of his living room, slurping on another cup of instant noodles that would have made his mom shake her head in resignation if she had seen him.

He opened the chat app belonging to the game.

 **GingerSpice:** _I didn’t expect you to be a healslut when we first met yesterday, but I’m happy that you are._

Oh crap. He had almost forgotten the little stunt Phasma had pulled on him the night before. What was he supposed to tell the guy?

Oh, I don’t know, Ben, maybe the truth?

GingerSpice wasn’t logged on at the moment, but he decided to write him a message anyway.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Hey. So, here’s the thing. My friend made me do that without me actually knowing what I was doing_

Then he added:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything :/_

He hated that he actually felt bad about something he hadn’t done wrong. But he couldn’t help it. He didn’t like to let people down.

An hour or so later, when Ben had moved back on the sofa and had immersed himself in a new comic he had brought home from work, his computer made a ping sound. He went over to it, finding a new message from GingerSpice.

 **GingerSpice:** _That’s okay. I can’t deny I’m a little bit disappointed, but no harm done._

Ben relaxed when he saw his message. He was afraid he would get angry at him, but it looked like he was cool with it.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I had no idea it was even a thing_

 **GingerSpice:** _Well, now that you do, may I ask what you think of it?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m not here to judge anyone’s kinks_

 **GingerSpice:** _At least you’re open-minded. That’s a start. And if you don’t mind me saying, I think you would make an excellent healslut._

Ben blushed a little. He barely knew what it meant, but it kind of made him feel good that GingerSpice thought so.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Idk, but thanks_

 **GingerSpice:** _It can be very stimulating._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Doesn’t it kind of get in the way of playing?_

 **GingerSpice:** _That’s part of the fun: trying not to get distracted. If anything, I would say it enhances the experience. Knowing that you will be rewarded and punished outside of the game for what you do in-game, raises the stakes._

Ben bit his lip. He had to admit he was a little curious, but he really didn’t know if it was something he should get into.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Yeah?_

 **GingerSpice:** _I’m not going to push you. We can still play together. But if you do find yourself wanting to try it, please let me know._

 

* * *

 

While on checkout duty at work the next day, Ben found his mind going to what he and GingerSpice had chatted about the night before. He couldn’t help but think about it. GingerSpice had mentioned rewards and punishments, and he wondered what exactly that meant, and how. Would he tell him off if he wasn’t doing a good job as a healer? He was already praising him when he did well, but how would that translate to anything sexual?

Come on. Use your imagination, Ben. You know full well how that can translate. You might not be a stud of any kind, but you’re not completely innocent either.

He licked his lips. He supposed that a good healing job could mean that he got to touch himself. And he did enjoy it when GingerSpice thanked him for his heals. Turning that praise into a stroke of his cock, was… intriguing.

“Ben!” a voice sounded, and long, slim fingers snapped at him in front of his face.

Ben blinked and found Hux looking sternly at him. “Customers,” he pointed out, nodding to a girl with green hair standing in front of him.

“Sorry,” Ben mumbled to Hux, blushing a little at his own train of thought. Then he turned to the green-haired girl and said, “Welcome to Outland.”

 

* * *

 

Later that night, after Ben had finished playing with Phasma, and he was supposed to go to bed, he pulled up the chat window between him and GingerSpice and started typing.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _About the healslut thing…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Ben, you sweet, sweet boy who don't think you have any kinks. Welcome to the world of healsluts.
> 
> If you want to read more about healsluts, [this article is very helpful.](https://kotaku.com/overwatch-healsluts-turn-playing-support-into-an-erotic-1786553002) It's where I first read about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**GingerSpice:** _Have you changed your mind?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I thought about it, and I think maybe I want to try it_

 **GingerSpice:** _Maybe?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions first_

 **GingerSpice:** _Within reason ;)_

Ben knew that they were online and that they were as anonymous as they could be, and he guessed that GingerSpice probably wasn’t very keen on sharing personal information. That was fine, he wasn’t either, but he really needed to know a few key things before he went into this.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Are you a guy or a girl?_

 **GingerSpice:** _I’m a man._

Ben had assumed, but it was nice to have it confirmed.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m a guy too…_

 **GingerSpice:** _Considering your username and the way you talk, I had thought as much._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _And that’s not a problem for you?_

He drummed his fingers lightly on top of the keyboard, somewhat nervously waiting for the answer.

 **GingerSpice:** _Quite the contrary, I prefer it._

Ben sighed in relief.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _How old are you?_

 **GingerSpice:** _29\. And yourself?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _24_

 **GingerSpice:** _This is working out quite nicely, don’t you think?_

Ben smiled. It definitely looked like it was. Obviously, GingerSpice could be lying about everything, but he didn’t see the point in why he would, so he trusted that he was telling the truth.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _So, how do we do this exactly?_

 **GingerSpice:** _I have a set of rules I like my healsluts to use. It makes it easy for both them and I to know what is expected. I’ll send them to you now, you look through them, and then I get back to you tomorrow. We can discuss things further then. Is that acceptable?_

Ben nodded at the screen as he typed a _yes_ back to GingerSpice. He was being so formal about it, like they were making a contract, but Ben liked that he really seemed to know what he was doing. He liked that he was taking control.

Not long after, what could only be considered a wall of text, was sent his way, and it was pretty explicit.

_What you will need:_

  * __Lube__


  * _A dildo of your choice_


  * _Your hand_



It sounded simple enough, but Ben blushed so hard at reading those simple instructions, he almost closed the chat window without reading the rest. Simultaneously, he felt his cock stirring in his pants. He couldn't say exactly why this was having such an effect on him. It felt kind of forbidden, and that was both scary and exciting at the same time.

Taking a deep breath and pressing his hand against the hardening cock in his pants, he read through the rest of the text. It was quite a few rules, from rocking back and forth on the dildo when he damage boosted his partner, to stroking himself (exactly five times) if his team mates complimented him, to having to apologise to his partner for being a bad healslut if he or (even worse) his partner died.

There were also some other rules. While playing, Ben was always to refer to GingerSpice by nick (not the character he was playing), and GingerSpice would refer to him as healslut. And when they played, Ben’s Mercy had to wear the combat medic Ziegler skin, because that was GingerSpice’s favourite.

It was suddenly clear to Ben how gaming could become a very satisfying and pleasant experience in a whole new way than before.

He read through the rules one more time, squeezing his now fully erect cock through his jeans as he did. When he went to bed, there was nothing more he wanted than to relieve himself, but he forced himself not to. He forced himself to wait.

 

* * *

 

During lunch at work, Ben decided to read through the rules again. He wouldn't remember them all by tonight, but he wanted to at least make an effort.

He lounged in a chair in the breakroom, his eyes glued to his cell phone and a sandwich halfway into his mouth, when he heard a small cough.

Ben didn't normally startle easily, but he hadn't heard Hux come in, and seeing him suddenly standing there made him jump. He scrambled to sit up properly in the chair, and in the process he dropped his phone on the floor.

“Shit,” he let out.

Hux bent down to pick it up for him, and Ben almost yelped in fear of him seeing what was open on the screen. But Hux calmly handed him the phone without attempting to peak at what he was reading.

“I didn't mean to frighten you,” said Hux and sat down in the chair opposite him, sipping at his cup of coffee.

Ben swallowed, locking his phone and pocketing it securely. Not meeting Hux's eyes, he shook his head and said, “Don’t worry about it. I was just-”

“Clearly engrossed in whatever it was you were reading,” Hux finished for him as he took a chicken salad out of a paper bag he had been carrying.

“Just an ebook,” he lied, followed by a strong need to kick himself. Why would he say that? Now Hux was going to-

“Oh, which book?”

God damn it, Ben.

“Er…” He wracked his brain for a title. _Any_ title. “A court of thorns and roses,” he threw out, remembering the book he had seen on Phasma’s living room table last weekend.

Hux raised his eyebrows at him in obvious surprise. “Really? I never would have thought that was your type of book. How do you find it?”

“It’s… good.”

What is wrong with you, Ben? Why are you still talking about this? Why do you keep lying? Just shut up!

“I wasn’t convinced at first,” said Hux. “To be honest, I thought the book series was overhyped. But I was proven wrong. The characters are actually quite interesting and their interactions, intriguing.”

Ben nodded as if he knew what Hux was talking about as he went on about the books Ben had never read before.

He had never been so thankful for a lunch break ending, allowing him to escape back to work.

 

* * *

 

Ben was ridiculously nervous that evening, knowing (at least to a certain extent) what was to come. He sat in front of his computer, bouncing his leg and watching the screen, waiting for GingerSpice to log on. Having gone through the rules a few times now, he realised that he was missing what was a crucial part of the supply list: the dildo.

He didn’t have one. He had never thought about getting one either. When it came to that kind of pleasure, he had always used his own fingers. He realised he had to tell GingerSpice this, and that didn’t exactly help settle his nerves.

He waited impatiently another fifteen minutes or so before he finally got the message that GingerSpice had logged on, then waited equally impatiently for him to make contact.

 **GingerSpice:** _How did you find the rules?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _They’re fine_

 **GingerSpice:** _No objections?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _No_

 **GingerSpice:** _I’m very happy to hear that. Is there anything else you want or need to know before we give it your first try?_

Ben went silent in the chat. He knew he had to tell him about the dildo, but to be honest, he was embarrassed. GingerSpice, however, seemed to know that something was wrong when he didn’t answer right away.

 **GingerSpice:** _If there is anything you’re uncomfortable with, anything at all, it’s important that you tell me. We don’t know each other, and because of that very reason, you have to be honest with me._

Ben squirmed a little in his chair before he finally typed:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I don’t have a dildo_

 **GingerSpice:** _Thank you for telling me. You don’t need one for now, but I want you to get one after today. Can you do that?_

Ben swallowed. He could. Of course he could. It was just a little awkward, but he guessed that was something he had to deal with.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Yes_

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you nervous? :)_

The little smiley face made Ben relax somewhat. He huffed a small laugh.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Ngl yes_

 **GingerSpice:** _It will pass. Now, what are your thoughts on voice chat?_

Ben hadn’t thought about that. He only voice chatted with Phasma. In-game, he would often listen in on the team chat, but not participate because he didn’t like to talk to strangers.

 **_Ky1oR3n:_ ** _I don’t think I want to do that_

And then, because he didn’t want to completely blow GingerSpice off, he wrote:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _at least not yet_

 **GingerSpice:** _While I prefer voice chat for obvious reasons, I understand and respect your reservations. We can work towards that. But this means another level of obedience from you. Since I can’t hear you, I need you to be completely devoted to this for it to work._

Ben understood that. GingerSpice had no control when he couldn’t see or hear him. In theory, Ben could do anything he wanted when their sole contact was through chat.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I promise I’ll be good_

 **GingerSpice:** _That’s what I like to hear._

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you ready to try this? Since you’re missing the dildo, I want you to only follow the stroking rules. I will go easy on you, since it’s your first time._

Ben swallowed, then let out a breath. He was so much more nervous about this than he ever thought he would be. Excited, yes, but very nervous. GingerSpice seemed so invested in it, and he didn’t want to let him down.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m ready_

 **GingerSpice:** _You know the starting rules by now, I should hope. You need to be hard._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I know… I just need a moment to get that fixed_

He unzipped his jeans and pulled them, along with his underwear, down to his ankles. His cock was limp, and Ben wasn't sure how quickly he could get it hard in his current nervous state.

As if realising he was having some trouble, a message popped up in the chat:

 **GingerSpice:** _Let me help you. What kind of men do you like? Tell me what turns you on :)_

Ben’s face went warm, but he greatly appreciated that GingerSpice wanted to help him, so he shared.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I like guys that are smart. And in control. And bossy_

 **GingerSpice:** _How convenient that I happen to be all of the above ;) And that I am about to boss you around like the obedient healslut you know that you are._

Ben’s cock twitched a little. He gripped it with his right hand and pulled its foreskin back, revealing the head.

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you an obedient boy irl too? Do you like it when men tell you what to do?_

Typing with one hand, Ben answered _yes_.

 **GingerSpice:** _Do you like it when they grab you and pin you down?_

Ben had yet to experience anyone actually doing that to him, but the thought of it… The thought of it alone was easily enough for his cock to start filling out in his hand. He began stroking it.

 **GingerSpice:** _Does it excite you to be controlled and put in your place, because you're a dirty healslut who only lives to serve?_

Sighing a little, Ben stroked himself more firmly. He typed out another _yes_ in the chat.

 **GingerSpice:** _Does it excite you that you are going to serve me?_

Shit. That was it. Those were the magic words that made him fully hard. God, he wished he could have GingerSpice keep typing out messages like that while he jerked himself off until he came.

But he couldn’t. He was only meant to get hard so they could play. He gave his cock a couple more strokes before he reluctantly let go of himself.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m good_

 **GingerSpice:** _Then let’s play._

Already in the starting room, Ben made sure to put his healing beam on GingerSpice, who thanked him. When the match began, he flew after him, keeping close.

It was definitely a new experience to play Overwatch with a hard-on - a hard-on he was actively trying to keep up and satisfy, no less. It was a massive distraction, and Ben struggled with his in-game spatial awareness. He just wasn’t able to pay attention the way he usually was, and was killed more times than he wanted to admit.

And everytime he died, he had to apologise to GingerSpice. While he waited to respawn, he typed in the chat:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m sorry for letting you down_

If he had the time to type back, GingerSpice would simply tell him to try again. If not, Ben quietly went back to his side as quickly as he could and started boosting him again.

When he did good, which sadly wasn't as often as normal, GingerSpice was quick to praise him. _Thank you_ , he would emote, and Ben felt a heated surge of pride spread from his stomach to his cock. It was an unexpected feeling, but one he wanted more of.

The worst and best part came at the same time, when GingerSpice was killed, but Ben was able to resurrect him. First, he had to apologise to him again for being such a bad healslut and letting him die, but was then allowed to stroke his cock until he was resurrected again. This happened four times, and Ben, who had always thought that the resurrection period took way too long, now suddenly found himself wishing it would last a lot longer. He unwillingly let go of his cock and went back to work when GingerSpice was ready to go again.

It was not even close to the best game they had played together. It was really one of the worst games Ben had played in a long time. He wasn’t surprised when they lost, but he was disappointed in himself. When the cards highlighting the best performances of the game came up, Ben wasn’t one of them, but GingerSpice thankfully was. Ben quickly clicked the little arrow under his card to upvote him, like the rules told him to. Then he apologised again.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m sorry I didn’t get a card. I promise I’ll do better next time_

 **GingerSpice:** _I didn’t expect you to play as well as normal, but this was beyond disappointing._

Ben cringed at his words. He really felt bad about having let him down. He had ruined GingerSpice’s game by being such an awful healer. An awful _healslut._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m sorry_

 **GingerSpice:** _I’m not happy, but because it was your first time, I will let it slide. But be warned that this type of play will not be tolerated in the future. I expect you to do a lot better next time._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?_

It took quite a while before GingerSpice answered, and Ben had to check if he was still logged on.

 **GingerSpice:** _I’m glad you’re willing to rectify your abysmal play, and because you’re clearly regretful, I will allow you to come. Bring yourself off while you think about what a terrible healslut you are._

Feeling the burn of having let GingerSpice down, Ben went back to grabbing his cock.

 **GingerSpice:** _Do it quickly. Don’t try to make it last because you want more pleasure from it. You don't deserve that._

Dutifully, Ben started pumping his cock hard. At this point, it wouldn’t be a problem to finish quickly.

 **GingerSpice:** _When you come, I want you to say “I’m sorry” out loud, as if I was standing there in the room with you._

Ben breathed heavily as he hurriedly moved his hand over his cock, looking at the screen and GingerSpice’s words. Soon enough, he felt a heat build up in his abdomen and spread out through his body. Quickly, he grabbed a tissue, before his cock jerked in his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered to the screen as he came into the tissue.

He cleaned himself off after, pulling his underwear and jeans back on.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Thank you_

 **GingerSpice:** _Despite doing a poor job as a healslut, you were still obedient, and I commend you for that._

 **GingerSpice:** _Now, tell me: did you enjoy it?_

Ben had. Although he wasn’t happy with how he had played, he had still very much enjoyed the thrill of what they had done. And when he had done well, when GingerSpice had been happy with him and praised him, it had felt really good.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I did. I mean, I sucked, but… I still liked it_

 **GingerSpice:** _You'll get better, I'm sure. I believe in you._

Ben smiled. He hoped he would. Then he elaborated:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I really liked it when you thanked me_

 **GingerSpice:** _So you prefer praise over scolding?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I guess? Is that ok? I still don’t know how this works exactly, and I want to do it right_

 **GingerSpice:** _It’s perfectly alright. You are clearly a pleaser, and there is nothing else I would like than to shower you with praise. But you have to work for it._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I will. I want to_

 **GingerSpice:** _By next time, I expect you to have memorised the rules and have the dildo ready. I suggest we play again on Monday at seven._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _That works for me_

 **GingerSpice:** _Good night then, Kylo. Sleep tight._

Ben bit his lip.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I like that too_

 **GingerSpice:** _Like what?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _That you use my name. My nick_

 **GingerSpice:** _I will remember that. If you’re really good, maybe I will use it ;)_

GingerSpice logged off, leaving Ben feeling elevated, his skin tingling, from what he had just experienced.

Three days. He had given him three days to sort out the dildo situation. At some point during the weekend, he had to go shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, dildo shopping with awkward Ben in the next chapter? Yes? Yes, I think so.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait a little longer with posting this chapter, but I don't have any patience, so here you go!
> 
> Also, thank you so much for your comments and kudos so far! I didn't really think that people would be very interested in this fic, and started writing it mostly as a self-indulgence. But here you are, liking it, and that's so awesome! <3
> 
> Now, let the dildo shopping commence ;)

Ben was off work on Saturday. Normally, he would sleep in and spend most of the day inside. Maybe go for a jog, if he felt like it. But this day, he got up earlier than usual, because he needed to get a hold of Phasma.

“Hi!” she answered in a chipper voice when he called. “You're up early for someone who usually sleeps his off days away.”

“Yeah, I have something I need to do, and-” he started, then broke himself off. He rubbed an already sweaty palm against his jeans, getting up from the sofa and walking over to the window.

“And?” she urged him.

“I need your help.”

“Sure thing, sweetie. What do you need me to do?”

Ben paced from the window to the kitchen corner and then back again. This was the hard part. He and Phasma had been friends for many years and had a very open friendship. But even though he knew he could ask her anything, that didn't mean it was easy to do so. Especially not when it came to sex.

“Um, well, I-” he began, then cleared his throat. “I-”

“Is something wrong? Why do you sound so nervous?” Phasma asked, sounding a little worried.

“No, nothing is wrong,” he assured her, shaking his head, “I need your help with some, er, sex stuff.”

“Sex stuff? Honey, didn't your mom already have the birds and and the bees talk with you?”

“What? No!”

“Okay, I'll come right over and tell you about what happens when a boy and a boy love each other very much. I’ll even bring condoms and a cucumber, so you can-”

“I don't need you to tell me how sex works, I need you to help me buy a dildo!” he blurted out.

“See, that wasn't so hard,” said Phasma and gave a little laugh.

Ben groaned. He couldn't believe he had fallen for that again. When Phasma realised something was awkward for him to talk about, she would often push his buttons about something that was more awkward, until he just said what was really the case.

“I hate you,” he mumbled, pouting.

“I love you too,” she replied and made a kissing sound.

 

* * *

 

They agreed to meet at noon at a sex shop Phasma was apparently very familiar with. Ben wasn’t familiar with it at all, and feeling both nervous and awkward about the whole thing, he ended up arriving too early and having to wait. Not wanting to loiter outside a sex shop, he hid himself in the alley next to it.

When he finally spotted Phasma coming towards him down the street, stylishly dressed in monochrome which perfectly complimented her platinum hair, he lifted his arm in greeting. She frowned at him when she saw him, and when she came up to him, she put both of her hands on her hips and looked at him like he was an idiot.

“Really, Ben?” she said, followed by an exasperated sigh. “You’re hiding in an alley next to a sex shop wearing a hoodie and sunglasses? You look like a pervert.”

Looking like a pervert was the exact opposite of what Ben wanted, so when Phasma tugged at the hood of his black sweater, he let her do it. He removed his own sunglasses and put them in the neck of the hoodie, but he ruffled his dark hair, making it fall into his face.

Phasma rolled her eyes. “It’s just a sex shop,” she said casually, pushing at his back to make him go in.

Maybe it was to her, but Ben didn’t frequent sex shops very often. He had been maybe a handful of times, but always as a tag-along, never for himself. He had never been particularly adventurous with sex, and the few partners he had been with, hadn’t been either, so there had never been a reason to.

Entering the shop, Ben looked around him and immediately felt overwhelmed. There was so much stuff in there, and he didn’t know what half of it was for. Phasma, however, familiarly nodded to a small, blonde pixie-like girl behind the counter, before she grabbed Ben and led him to a shelf that was stacked with dildos and vibrators and other gadgets he assumed were for similar purposes.

“Okay, let’s find you a dildo,” she said.

Ben’s ears immediately started burning and he shook his head so his hair fell further into his eyes. “Can you keep your voice down?” he hissed.

“Why? It’s just a dildo,” and as she said it, she grabbed one from off the shelf and pointed it at him. “Didn’t Hermione teach you anything?”

“What the hell does Hermione have to do with this?” he glared at her as images he really had no use for, popped into his head.

“Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.”

“Oh my god, what is wrong with you?”

He was just about to turn around and walk out of the shop again when Phasma sighed and said, “Fine, I’ll stop, but seriously; if there was ever a place where talking loudly about dildos was okay, a sex shop is it.”

“Hi, Phasma,” the girl from behind the counter interrupted, smiling, as she came over to them. She was tiny, looking even smaller next to Phasma. “Do you need any help today?”

“Not me, but he needs a dildo,” she said, pointing a thumb at Ben, whose face went red.

The girl turned, looking up at him. “Absolutely. What are you looking for?”

Ben stared at her. “Er,” was all he managed to say.

“Vaginal or anal?” she helpfully elaborated.

“Oh, um, anal,” he muttered, his hand going to the back of his neck.

She pointed to a section with different sized and shaped dildos. “This is our anal selection. Most of these are massagers specifically made for men with the prostate in mind for maximum pleasure. Some of them have perineum massagers included as well, like this one.” She picked up a black silicone dildo with what looked like a curved handle at the bottom. “This is one of our bestsellers, and it is for a reason. It’s easy to use and takes little practice to achieve results. I especially recommend it to beginners.”

She gave Ben a quick look, whose expression apparently told her everything she needed to know. She smiled, then handed it to him so he could look at it. A little uncertain, he squeezed it: it was very firm, but still felt soft to the touch because of the silicone. It wasn’t very large, and that honestly made him feel so much better about the whole thing.

He could probably stand there and have her show him more, but if this was a bestseller, he preferred to spare himself that.

“I guess I’ll take this one then,” he finally said, handing the dildo back to the tiny woman.

She put it back on the shelf, then grabbed a sealed package instead and walked over to the counter, where she rang him up.

“Enjoy!” she smiled as she handed him a white bag with no logo on it.

“Thanks,” Ben smiled awkwardly back at her.

“So, are you going to tell me where this sudden need for a dildo came from?” Phasma asked him as casually as she managed, as they strolled leisurely down the street, heading in the direction of their favourite coffee house.

“Well,” he started, “do you remember GingerSpice?”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “How could I forget?”

“We talked some more, and I decided to try the healslut thing,” he admitted.

A massive grin appeared on Phasma’s face. “Did you really?! And? How was it?”

“I was kind of missing an essential part,” he explained, dangling the shopping bag in her direction. Then he smiled. “But yeah, it was...fun.”

Phasma made a little squeal. “That is so cool! Really, Ben, I’m happy that you’re trying something new and having fun with it.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Monday’s play session came around, Ben felt more prepared. He wouldn’t say he was confident, but he wasn’t sweating from nerves, like the last time.

When he had arrived home after shopping with Phasma on Saturday, he had immediately tried his new massager, and he could only say that it was quite something. While using his own fingers was a nice addition to stroking his cock, reaching his prostate was difficult on his own. But with this little thing, he had already been able to reach a level of sensation he had only had with a partner before. To be honest, it was almost better than an actual cock.

 **GingerSpice:** _Hello._

Ben smiled when he saw the chat message pop up.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Hi!_

 **GingerSpice:** _How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Why don’t you tell me about your weekend first, and then I’ll tell you about mine ;)_

He dared to be a little forward, feeling bolder after his weekend's adventure.

 **GingerSpice:** _You seem more eager than the last time we talked. But alright, I’ll let you have your way. I had dinner with some friends on Saturday, and on Sunday I was very lazy and spent all day reading._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _That sounds nice_

 **GingerSpice:** _It was. Now, what exactly did you do that was so special you had to share last?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I spent most of my weekend in bed_

Even though he was only looking at a screen and not an actual person, Ben still smiled cheekily. Maybe he should be ashamed that he had spent a large part of his weekend in bed with his new toy, but with the amount of pleasure it was giving him, the shame was minimal.

 **GingerSpice:** _Oh?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I bought that dildo you wanted me to buy_

 **GingerSpice:** _Oh_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _And I practiced_

It took a minute or so before GingerSpice responded.

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you trying to get me unfocused before we even start playing? Because that’s not very nice._

Suddenly afraid he had done something wrong, Ben immediately apologised.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _No! I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant. I just wanted to let you know that I did what you told me to do_

Once again, it took a little while before GingerSpice answered.

 **GingerSpice:** _You did good. I am very pleased with you._

Ben let out a sigh of relief.

 **GingerSpice:** _And I am very excited to see how this will affect you in-game. Are you ready?_

Ben was ready. He was fully hard and he had spent a little extra time opening himself up, just to make absolutely sure he wouldn’t have any problems taking the lubed dildo lying next to him.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I am_

As soon as they were in the starting room, waiting for the match to begin, Ben dutifully followed the rules and slowly slid the dildo inside him. He shuddered as it entered him, pressing past the tight muscles of his hole, but as soon as it was inside, he relaxed and sat back down again on the chair. He sat completely still, not moving a muscle, but still with a pleasant sensation of being filled and the massager pressing gently against his perineum.

As soon as the match started, Ben’s boosting beam was on GingerSpice ( _Thank you_ , he emoted), and he slowly began contracting his muscles around the dildo. After practicing, he knew that he had to be careful. It didn’t take much movement for it to hit his prostate and for pleasure to build up.

He sighed a little as he flew after GingerSpice into the fight, making sure to stay protected behind his shield.

The fight got intense quickly, and Ben had his work cut out for him. He flew between his teammates, boosting, healing and resurrecting them, all the while trying to remember that he was only ever allowed to pleasure himself when the subject of his services, was GingerSpice. It made it more than easy to return to him. Everytime Ben had healed or boosted a teammate, he flew straight back to GingerSpice, so he could get his fix.

 _Thank you,_ GingerSpice kept emoting at him as he held his beam on him, and Ben continuously squeezed around the massager as he did, moaning in pleasure.

The game wasn’t death free for either of them. It never was. Ben shamefully apologised when he died and reluctantly had to stop his muscle contractions, whining when the pleasure temporarily ceased.

 **GingerSpice:** _Get your act together._

He had one very important moment in the game. He was just healing their Reaper, when GingerSpice, who Ben seconds before had seen being in control of the point they were holding, emoted _I need healing_ followed by a _Group up!._ He immediately ran back to the point, Reaper following him, but as he reached the point, ready to help, GingerSpice died right in front of him.

Taking a chance, without checking his surroundings properly, hoping Reaper had his back, he resurrected GingerSpice. And as he did, he quickly stroked his cock and squeezed hard and fast around the dildo, breathing heavily.

 **GingerSpice:** _Good boy._

Typing was a feat at the moment, but he made sure to apologise to GingerSpice right after, because he had, after all, been a bad healslut who was so distracted by another player, that he let his tank dom die.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I’m so sorry_

Then he pressed the Q button on his keyboard, ultimating with Mercy, making his beam chain his teammates together, and effectively boosting several of them at once.

It was just in time for them to push back the enemy team, before time ran out and they were declared the winners.

When the match ended, Ben was panting from the work he had done both in-game and to himself. He swore every hair on his body was standing up from the intense pleasure. He had been very close to coming when he ulted, but he didn’t quite get there.

 **GingerSpice:** _You did a lot better today than last time. That ult at the end was a lifesaver. It looks like you perform a lot better with a cock up your ass._

Ben swallowed, pride and heated pleasure mixing together.

 **GingerSpice:** _Can you come from just squeezing on that dildo?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I can_

 **GingerSpice:** _Then what are you waiting for? A good, dirty healslut deserves a happy ending._

Ben started squeezing, hard and quick, making the massager move back and forth inside him at the same time as the smaller massager on the outside deliciously rubbed against his perineum. He gasped at the pleasure, feeling how an orgasm was quickly building up.

 **GingerSpice:** _You were so good. Such a good boy._

The praise was what tipped him over the edge, and he clasped a hand over his mouth to keep from shouting as he came.

He whimpered at the overstimulation his orgasm had left behind in his body as he slowly pulled the dildo out of his ass.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Thank you_

 **GingerSpice:** _You’re very welcome._

 **GingerSpice:** _Sadly, I can’t stay and chat. I have to get up early for work._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Before you go, can I ask which book you read?_

 **GingerSpice:** _All the birds in the sky. It’s good. I highly recommend it._

 

* * *

 

Ben looked up _All the birds in the sky_ at work the next day. It had been in stock before, but they were sold out, and there was no note on whether they would get a new batch or not.

“Hey, Hux,” said Ben, poking his head into his office.

“Yes?” Hux said as he turned away from the computer screen to focus on him.

“Can you check if we’ll get a new batch of a book?” asked Ben

“Of course, which one?”

“ _All the birds in the sky.”_

Hux gave him a strange look, but then he smiled. “Funny you should ask, I just finished that one.” He turned back to the computer screen, and Ben noticed for the first time how his long fingers flew agily across the keyboard as he typed. Then he rested his chin in the palm of his hand as he scrolled. “It’s sold out from the publisher, so no. Not unless there’s a new edition.”

“Oh,” said Ben, a little disappointed. Then he shrugged. “I can probably get it online.”

Hux narrowed his eyes a him slightly. “You’re a fairly organised person, aren’t you, Ben?”

Not understanding what that question had to do with anything, Ben still nodded. “Er, yeah, I’d like to think so.”

Hux angled his head at him just a little and Ben suddenly felt like he was being scrutinized. “I’ll allow you to borrow my personal copy,” he finally said.

Ben stared at him. Everyone at Outland knew that Hux was very meticulous about his stuff. The fact that he was offering Ben to borrow one of his books, was huge. So huge, in fact, that Ben was unsure for a second whether he could handle the responsibility.

But then he said, “Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind.”

 

* * *

 

The day after, Hux gave Ben the book.

“Use a bookmark. I can’t stand dog-ears in my books,” he said as he handed it to him, and Ben once again couldn’t help but notice the slim fingers holding it.

Ben accepted the book like he was being given a rare treasure. “Of course,” he nodded obediently.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben binge read Hux's book over the next four days. It was one of the strangest books he had ever read, but it was also (completely unexpectedly) one of the best books he had ever read.

While keeping the book at home, he treated it with immense care. He didn't eat or drink anywhere near it, he gently turned every page so as not to crease or rip them, and, of course, made sure to use a bookmark.

“Thank you for lending it to me,” said Ben when he returned it.

Hux took the book back, turned it over a few times, then quickly flipped through the pages. “It doesn't look like you've touched it,” he pointed out, frowning a little.

“I read it,” said Ben.

“And how did you find it?” asked Hux, watching him closely with eyes Ben hadn't noticed were green before.

Ben tried to find the right words to describe _All the birds in the sky,_ which honestly wasn't easy, because the book was really weird. Good weird, but still...

Eventually, he said, “It isn't often I can say _I have never read anything like this before_ , but I have never read anything like that before.”

“It's quite something, isn't it?” Hux agreed.

Ben nodded, continuing, “Yeah, the whole nature versus science thing, and the nod toward the idea of how the world lies in the hands of the outsiders.”

“- _the outsiders,”_ Hux said at the exact same time as Ben.

They looked at each other, Hux practically staring Ben down, who found himself blushing and had to look away.

Jesus, Ben, get yourself together. What are you doing?

Hux chuckled. Actually chuckled, and Ben realised he had never heard him laugh before. A polite smile here and there, fit for the workplace, yes, but never a laugh.

“I'm glad you liked it,” said Hux. “And thank you for treating it with such care. It seems my trust in you wasn't misplaced.”

Ben smiled shyly, still not quite able to look at Hux, but when he walked away, he felt a certain amount of pride, knowing that Hux approved of how he had treated his property.

 

* * *

 

Because of the conversation with Hux, Ben almost forgot to tell GingerSpice about the book, but he remembered a few days later.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I read that book. All the birds in the sky_

 **GingerSpice:** _You did? How did you find it?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I've never read anything like that before_

 **GingerSpice:** _It's quite something, isn't it?_

 

* * *

 

Ben and GingerSpice fell into the habit of chatting casually in addition to playing. After a couple of weeks, they even started using the cell phone app, so chatting became more convenient.

They found that they had more in common than either of them had likely expected. They were both avid comic readers (they could probably discuss it for hours, if they wanted), loved fantasy and sci-fi movies, and it turned out that they had visited the same comic cons more than once.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Does that mean you cosplay?_

 **GingerSpice:** _No, I don’t. I’m not crafty enough for cosplay, I’m afraid._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Yeah, me neither_

 **GingerSpice:** _Too bad. I’m sure you would make an excellent Mercy ;)_

Ben would never even have imagined that, but when GingerSpice said it, the thought of himself as an actual real life healslut, ready to serve, made him dizzy.

Soon enough, Ben found himself growing curious about GingerSpice outside of Overwatch and chatting. He started thinking about him more: wondering what he looked like. But he was too timid to ask him directly, afraid GingerSpice would get annoyed with him for being too personal. All he could do was imagine, and when he did, it was all too easy to take his nickname literally and imagine him as a ginger. A thought that, without Ben noticing at first, slowly turned a fantasy of a faceless redhead into Hux.

Hux, with the long, slim fingers and the perfectly sideswept hair, who Ben had never thought about like that before; who was his boss, and who he _shouldn't_ think about like that. Yet, he couldn’t help that he was what his mind conjured up in his most pleasant moments.

 

* * *

 

Ben and GingerSpice made regular playdates, gaming together three to four nights a week. The pleasure and the praise kept Ben coming back, having found what could only be described as an addiction in what GingerSpice gave him. That pride and confidence he felt when GingerSpice told him he was a good healslut, made him feel better about himself in general - a feeling he wanted more of.

Ben strived to do good - to _be_ good. He didn’t always succeed while playing, but he refused to give up.

 **GingerSpice:** _Your tenacity is admirable. I do enjoy how you are so desperately eager to please._

After a month or so, Ben felt like he knew what he was doing when it came to their playdates. He had gotten a lot more comfortable. He knew GingerSpice’s playstyle by now, and more of what he wanted and expected, so it was easier to follow and serve him.

One night they were playing, they had already had one match that was really good. Their current was a little more difficult, but Ben still felt like they had it. As he flew from one teammate back to GingerSpice to boost him, he noticed the enemy Symmetra hiding around a corner, undoubtedly waiting for her chance to strike.

Ben knew he wasn’t supposed to use his gun. It was against the rules, unless he was being attacked. But the enemy Symmetra hadn’t seen him, and it would be so easy for him to kill her. GingerSpice didn’t need him right now, and it couldn’t hurt if he pulled out his gun this one time.

So he did. He aimed, fired and quickly took out the enemy Symmetra.

GingerSpice didn’t say anything, and they continued on to win the match, so Ben thought he was good. But the second their win was a fact and Ben was excited to be allowed to both stroke his cock and squeeze around the dildo in his ass, so very ready to finish himself off after two long matches, a message immediately came through on the chat.

 **GingerSpice:** _Don’t you dare touch yourself!_

Then:

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you a dps or a healslut?_

Ben instantly knew that he had made a mistake, and he cursed himself for having known that he shouldn’t have done it, but decided to do it anyway.

 **GingerSpice:** _Answer me._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I'm a healslut_

 **GingerSpice:** _Then why did you use your gun?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I had a clear shot, so I took it_

 **GingerSpice:** _You NEVER use the gun for anything but a last resort! Everytime you pull out that gun, you're wasting precious seconds of healing and boosting. What were you thinking?_

Ben could practically feel himself shrinking as GingerSpice scolded him. He had been bad. He had been very bad.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I'm sorry_

 **GingerSpice:** _You better be. We won, but we could have easily lost because you decided to ignore your job._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I'm so sorry_

 **GingerSpice:** _Take the dildo out of your ass. Healsluts who fail their team, don’t get to come. I want you to go to bed with an aching cock. It should serve as a reminder of what you did._

That was the last thing GingerSpice said before he logged off without another word. No goodbye. No good night. No nothing. He left Ben to himself, unfulfilled and unsatisfied, but worst of all: knowing he had let him down.

 

* * *

 

Ben barely slept that night. He continuously checked his phone to see if GingerSpice had contacted him, but there was nothing. He wondered if he should write him a message, but he didn’t know what to say, except for another sorry, so he didn’t.

There was still no word when he arrived at work the next morning, and even though he wasn’t supposed to, Ben decided to keep his phone on him. He checked it often throughout the day, hoping and begging that GingerSpice would contact him, but there was nothing but silence.

“Are you on your phone?”

Ben was tidying the t-shirt shelf and had just pulled his phone out to check it _again_ when Hux’s voice sounded behind him.

Shit.

He quickly pocketed it and turned around. “No,” he lied automatically, as if he was some child who couldn't take responsibility for his own actions.

“Ben,” said Hux sternly, crossing his arms. “I clearly saw you.”

Feeling like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Ben looked at the floor.

“You know our policy on mobile phones: only in the break room,” Hux continued.

Looking at the tips of Hux’s polished, tanned dress shoes, Ben said in a low voice, “I know.”

“What will the customers think when they enter the shop and see you on your phone? It won't make them feel noticed and welcome, will it?”

Ben hung his head. He was already feeling like shit because GingerSpice was punishing him by not talking to him, and this just made everything worse. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled.

“I'm disappointed. You don't usually do things like this,” Hux pointed out.

“I'm sorry,” Ben repeated. “I just-”

No. No excuses, Ben. You did something you weren't supposed to do.

“I'm sorry,” he said a third time, finally looking up at Hux.

Hux knitted his brows, and when he spoke again, his voice was milder. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Ben answered quickly.

“Are you sure? You seem distracted.” He studied Ben, looking him up and down. “You know, if there's an emergency, I can make an exception for the phone rule, but you have to tell me.”

Ben shook his head. As if he could ever tell Hux the real reason he was anxious. “It's not an emergency. It's just a… friend.”

“A friend?”

Ben sighed. “We sort of had a fight, and I haven't heard from him since yesterday, and I'm a little worried, that's all.”

Hux nodded slowly.

“It's stupid,” Ben added, digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I shouldn't have used the phone, either way. I'm sorry.”

Hux had gone from stern to worried, and now he suddenly smiled. “You’ve apologised four times now. It’s okay,” he said.

Then he took a step forward, closing the short distance between them and put his hand on Ben’s upper arm. Ben almost jerked at the touch, but kept himself in check. He stared at the hand; at those long, slender fingers wrapped around his arm. He was suddenly very aware that only a thin piece of clothing was separating his skin from Hux’s.

“I'm sure your friend will come around. Maybe he just needs a little time.”

And then he squeezed his arm, lightly but reassuringly, before he removed it again and walked away. Ben watched him as he disappeared around the corner leading to the break room and his office. The spot on his arm where Hux had touched him, was practically burning.

 

* * *

 

It took two days, two agonizingly long days, before GingerSpice made contact again. Ben was doing the dishes when his phone beeped. At this point, he didn't expect it to be him, so when he saw his nickname light up the screen, he almost dropped the plate he was holding on the floor. He quickly put it down and dried his hands on his jeans before he picked up the phone and brought it with him into the living room, not giving a second thought to the rest of the dishes that were still waiting in the sink.

 **GingerSpice:** _I hope you have learned your lesson by now._

It wasn't a loving greeting, but Ben didn't even care. He would take anything from GingerSpice at this point, as long as he was talking to him. He had also had a lot of time to think about what he wanted to say to him.

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I have. I will never use the gun again, except for as a last resort. I will never disobey you again. I will be a good healslut from now. I promise_

And then, because it was true, he wrote:

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I missed you_

 **GingerSpice:** _You missed me?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Yes_

The chat went silent. Ben hoped he hadn’t gone too far in saying what he did. He lied back down on the sofa, biting on the nail of his thumb as he stared at the screen, waiting for an answer.

 **GingerSpice:** _Tell me what you missed._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _I missed chatting and discussing things with you. I missed playing with you. I missed being your healslut. I missed you telling me what to do. I missed obeying you_

 **GingerSpice:** _Then I suppose you want to play._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _There’s nothing else I want_

 **GingerSpice:** _You have three minutes to get ready and log on._

Ben ran into his bedroom to get his massager and lube, and rid himself of his jeans and underwear while he was there. By the time he sat down in front of the computer, he was already half hard from excitement, and it didn’t take many strokes for him to be fully ready. Lastly, he made sure to cover the massager in lube. Then he logged into the game.

 **GingerSpice:** _You made it. Very good._

 **GingerSpice:** _I want you to prove how much you’ve missed me; how dedicated you truly are. You’re going to pocket me today._

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Anything you want_

Ben wasn’t normally a fan of pocketing. He didn’t think it was fair for a healer to stick to just one teammate. But somehow, he liked the idea of pocketing GingerSpice and not being allowed to support anyone else. It made him feel like he belonged to him.

In the starting room, Ben (as usual) inserted his dildo, groaning in pleasure as he eased it past the tight muscles and into his hole.

Then, because he felt playful, he stood his Mercy in front of GingerSpice’s Reinhardt and emoted _Your guardian angel_ before he made her dance.

 **GingerSpice:** _Are you flirting to make me go easy on you?_

 **Ky1oR3n:** _Just flirting ;)_

Staying so close to him at all times, pretty much made GingerSpice invincible, and that was for the good of the entire team. It was good for Ben too, who got to pay himself a whole lot of attention, as the rules dictated that he had to contract on his dildo everytime his boost or healing beam was on GingerSpice.

It wasn’t a problem at first that Ben pocketed him. Not until the second round. That's when their Genji started asking for healing - repeatedly.

 **GingerSpice:** _Ignore him._

Ben did. Or, at least, he tried, but the Genji pretty much spammed messages of healing, and eventually he got on the team chat, asking what the fuck he was doing only sticking to GingerSpice.

When Ben didn’t respond, he moved on to the voice chat. Ben and GingerSpice never used it, but both of them were usually on it to listen in, just in case.

“Fuck you, Mercy,” the Genji suddenly said on the voice chat, and Ben startled at hearing such an angry voice speaking directly to him. “You’re a fucking loser! Fucking pocketing? Learn how to play the fucking game and help your teammates, you fucking bitch!”

As a support player, Ben had been on the receiving end of hate many times before. Plenty of people blamed him if the team lost. But that hate had always come through the chat, and it seemed less real and menacing that way, so he didn’t really care about it. But this guy was yelling at him on voice chat and was being so aggressive, Ben completely froze mid-game, not knowing what to do.

“Just fucking uninstall the game, or even better: go kill yourself,” the Genji continued.

“Hey!” Another voice suddenly piped up on the voice chat, and Ben realised it was GingerSpice. “Why don’t _you_ uninstall the game, you toxic piece of drivel.”

“Oh, you wanna fucking go?” said the Genji.

“While I would love to _go,”_ said GingerSpice coolly, “I simply don’t think it’s fair to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.”

“FUCK YOU! AND FUCK YOUR FUCKING MERCY!” the Genji exploded. Then he quit the game.

There was silence in the voice chat before GingerSpice spoke again: “Are you okay?”

Ben didn’t answer. He was not okay, but not because of the raging Genji anymore. It was because he recognised GingerSpice’s voice: it was Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the cat is out of the bag. Que Ben dying of embarrassment in the next chapter :P


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter so fast, you don't even know. It was done Tuesday night, and I've just been waiting to post it. Enjoy the awkward! <3

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

In a moment of sheer panic, Ben quit the game and logged off without saying anything to GingerSpice.

To Hux.

Fucking Hux. His god damn boss!

How was this possible? Out of all the people he could have made contact with in Overwatch, he somehow managed to find him. What were even the odds of that happening?

Feeling more uncomfortable than he had in years (probably his whole life, to be honest), he cringed as he slowly pulled the dildo out of his ass, his cock quickly shrinking as well. In shame and utter embarrassment, he found back to his jeans, quickly putting them on. He didn't even want to remember that he had a cock right now.

Diving head first onto the couch, Ben buried his face in the cushions, groaning miserably. What was he going to do now? How was he supposed to go to work and look Hux in the eye and pretend that everything was normal?

He was suddenly overcome by thoughts of what he had actually done and said to Hux online. All the flirting and the serving and the… _sex_. He had bought a dildo on his request, for god's sake!

Oh god.

Oh _god!_

Why wasn't there a dumbass-shaped black hole nearby he could jump into? It would fit him perfectly.

His phone beeped. Not just once, but three times. Already knowing who was probably trying to contact him, Ben reached his hand out for the phone on the table and turned his head enough so he could look at the messages on the locked screen with one eye.

 **GingerSpice:** _You logged off without saying anything._

 **GingerSpice:** _That guy was a dick. Don't take anything he said, to heart._

 **GingerSpice:** _Please contact me, so I know you're okay._

And now he was worried about him, which made Ben feel even worse.

He got up from the couch and started pacing the length of his apartment. He ran his hand through his hair, whined loudly, then squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered another one of his and Hux's online interactions.

He couldn't deal with this. He honestly couldn't. He was so embarrassed, it physically hurt. He was even starting to feel nauseous - that's how awful he felt about the situation.

Grabbing his phone, jacket and keys, Ben left his apartment, heading for Phasma's. She lived on the other side of town, but right now he didn't care if it would take him an hour to get there.

“There better be a damn good reason why you’re here at eleven o'clock at night on a Wednesday,” Phasma said crankily when she opened the door for him in her flannel pyjamas and fuzzy slippers, her hair towel dry.

Ben entered her cozy home, heading straight for her kitchen and the booze bottles he knew she kept in one of her cabinets. He pulled one of them out, opening it and taking a swig straight from the bottle.

He winced as the strong flavour of the vodka hit his taste buds.

“And you're drinking,” Phasma commented, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Yeah,” answered Ben, taking another swig.

“And why, exactly, are you in my kitchen drinking?”

“It's Hux,” Ben said, sitting down on one of the bar stools by her kitchen counter and hiding his face in his hands.

“What?”

“My boss.”

“I know he's your boss. What about him?” Phasma frowned.

“He's GingerSpice! Hux is GingerSpice!”

 _“_ What?!”

Phasma’s jaw went slack as she gaped at him. “Wait, let me get this straight: the guy you’ve been getting kinky with online these lasts weeks, is your boss?”

Ben nodded. “I want to die,” he moaned into the crook of his arm as he sank down onto the kitchen counter.

There was a snicker, and Ben looked up to see Phasma desperately trying to purse her lips shut, failing and then bursting out laughing.

“It's not funny!” Ben shouted at her. He grabbed the vodka bottle and took another massive swig.

“Are you kidding? It's hilarious!” Phasma wheezed between her fits of laughter.

Ben scowled at her. “I can never go back to work!”

Still giggling, Phasma rolled her eyes. “Don't be such a drama queen.”

“What else am I supposed to do? I won't be able to look at Hux.”

Phasma leaned on the kitchen counter. “I'm sorry to tell you this, Ben, but there's only one solution to this: you have to tell him.”

“Are you insane? I'm not going to tell him anything!”

“You have to.”

“No, I don't, and you can't make me,” he sulked.

“What are you, twelve years old?” Phasma crossed her arms, tapping a fuzzy slipper on the floor.

“Phasma, I'll die!” Ben complained, hugging the vodka bottle now, as if it could somehow protect him. “I will literally die of shame if I have to sit down with Hux and tell him who I am online.”

“Yeah, well… he's probably going to die too, so you'll be in good company,” she giggled.

“I can't. Seriously,” he pleaded with her. He wasn't lying. Just the thought of having to do what she told him to, was impossible to him.

Phasma gave a little sigh. She grabbed the vodka bottle, pried it out of his hands and put it back in the cupboard. “Look, I get that it's embarrassing, but it's not fair not to tell him.”

“Why? Why can't I just take this secret with me to my grave?” Ben whined.

“Because you know something really intimate about Hux now, and it involves yourself. It will be impossible to ignore that while still working together,” she explained.

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but Phasma stopped him. “And no, quitting your job and moving to another continent isn't a real option.”

Ben's shoulders sank as he pouted.

“Second, it's not fair to the part of Hux that is GingerSpice either. If you suddenly ghost on him, he's going to wonder what he did wrong, when he never actually did anything wrong at all.”

Ben thought about the messages GingerSpice had sent him, asking him if he was okay. It made him feel awful again. As if crippling embarrassment wasn't enough.

“And third,” Phasma smiled a little cheekily. “You get along so well. Wouldn't it suck to lose that?”

“What are you trying to say?” he frowned at her.

She shrugged. “That this big reveal doesn't mean it has to be the end of the fun you guys have had.”

“Phas, he's my _boss!”_ Ben pointed out for the nth time.

“Your _hot_ boss,” she argued calmly.

“No!”

“You don't think he's hot?”

“No, he is, but- _NO!”_

Horrified that he had just let that slip, Ben hid his face in his hands again. There was no way he was going to try to pursue anything with Hux. It didn’t matter what had happened between them online or if he found him attractive in real life. Just, no.

Smirking, Phasma disappeared out of the kitchen, but returned again not long after with a duvet and a pillow in her arms.

“Bed time,” she said.

Ben followed her into the living room, where she made up the couch to serve as a bed for him.

“I will allow you one day off work, if you promise to ask him to meet you,” she told him. Then she held her right pinky finger up to him.

He looked at her sullenly. “I don’t want to,” he mumbled.

“Promise,” she said sternly, almost sticking the finger in his face.

 _“Fine,”_ he eventually agreed, grabbing her pinky with his own.

When Phasma had shuffled off to her bedroom, Ben rid himself of his clothes, crept under the sheets on the sofa and pulled the duvet all the way up to his nose.

He hated that Phasma was right.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Phasma woke him up when she left for work, allowing him to stay as long as he wanted, but reminding him of what he had promised the night before.

“Yeah-yeah,” he grumbled from his warm cocoon that was her couch.

When the door closed behind her, he reached for his phone in the pocket of his jeans on the floor. The messages from GingerSpice were still left unread on his locked screen, and Ben felt like a douchebag when he saw them. He quickly swiped them away, pulling up his text messages instead.

 **[07:54 Ben]:** _Hi. I can’t make it to work today. I’m not feeling so good. Ben_

Hux, unsurprisingly, answered quickly.

 **[07:55 Boss Hux]:** _That’s okay. Thanks for letting me know. Feel better!_

Ben drew a deep breath, exhaled, and then wrote the next text. His thumb hovered over the send button for ages, before he finally pressed it.

 **[08:11 Ben]:** _Can I meet you somewhere when your shift is over today? It's important, regarding why I can't come to work_

 **[08:13 Boss Hux]:** _Of course. I'm off at six. How about we meet at the coffee house across the street from Outland?_

God, he was completely oblivious, and it made Ben want to suffocate himself with his pillow. It would probably be less painful than the conversation they were going to have.

 **[08:14 Ben]:** _See you there_

He pulled the duvet all the way over his head after, hiding himself away from the world. Now that was done, all he had to do was try not to die from nerves the next ten hours before they were to meet.

 

* * *

 

Ben slept another few hours on Phasma’s couch, before leaving her apartment (dropping her house keys in her mailbox when he left). He took a long shower when he got home, tried to busy himself with reading a comic, but couldn’t concentrate. He then tried to distract himself with gaming, but his thoughts refused to drop the subject of Hux even when he killed zombies in Resident Evil.

Finally, he decided to go for a run. It usually helped him empty his mind, and thank god, it did this time as well. He ended up running for almost two hours, just so he wouldn’t have to think or worry or feel embarrassed.

When he got back home again, he took another shower (quicker this time), ate a sandwich, and then thought to himself that he might as well leave because it was five o’clock.

He turned up at the coffee house half an hour before Hux’s shift was even over, bought a large mochaccino because he didn’t really like coffee, sat down by the windows and stared at his place of work across the street.

He kept checking the time on his phone. The minutes slowly went by, and Ben couldn’t decide whether he wished it would just stop so he didn’t have to deal with this, or speed up to get it over with.

Ten past six, Outland’s sliding doors opened, and Hux exited the shop. Ben almost jumped when he saw him, the terror of what he was actually about to do, suddenly hitting him. That feeling was immediately followed by a treacherous “fuck, he looks hot” thought as he watched Hux jog across the street, which did absolutely nothing to calm his nerves.

“Ben, hi,” said Hux, giving him a quick smile when he saw him.

Ben, in turn, just stared at him, feeling a sudden need to throw up.

“Ben?”

“I need some air.”

He got up, left his half finished mocha behind, and pushed past Hux. Outside, he inhaled deeply.

You can do this, Ben. Come on. Get your shit together, for once.

“Hey, are you okay?” Hux’s voice sounded not long after, having followed him outside.

“Yeah,” Ben breathed (and lied), “I’m fine.”

Hux looked a little worried when he asked: “Do you want to go back inside, or-?”

Ben shook his head. “No, let’s walk. The topic is a little… sensitive.”

“Okay,” Hux nodded.

They walked in silence down the street. Ben kept shooting looks at Hux, who seemed calm, clearly waiting for him to talk. He had to say something soon. The silence was making everything worse. He just didn’t know how.

“Um,” he started, twisting his hands. “There’s something really important you need to know.”

Hux gave him a look as if urging him to go on, but fuck, his face _really_ wasn’t helping Ben in any way. When had he become this handsome? Had his cheekbones always been that sharp? His hair always such a vibrant shade of red? And it would be great if he didn’t wear those glasses that made his green eyes pop like a beautiful spring day.

Ben averted his eyes again. Then, after another too long moment of silence, he came to a realisation. If he couldn’t tell Hux directly who he was online, he could show him. He pulled his cell phone out, opened the chat between them and handed it to Hux.

“Here,” he said.

Frowning a little, Hux took the phone. He peered at the screen, scrolled a little, and then stopped dead in his tracks. He kept scrolling until he likely came to the end of their online conversation before he looked up at Ben again. He looked simultaneously horrified and angry.

“Is this some sort of joke? Where did you get this?” he demanded, his voice unusually sharp, even for him.

Ben hadn’t known what Hux would do when he found out, but he hadn’t expected him to get mad. Taken aback by his reaction, Ben found himself only capable of gaping at him.

“Did you hack into my Overwatch account or something?”

Hux gestured to the phone, and Ben stared at him, terrified. He was absolutely furious.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but if this is meant to be some kind of a threat, you are making a big mistake!”

“I-I’m not-” Ben tried, but Hux bulldozed on.

He waved Ben’s phone at him. “This is not illegal, and I’m not ashamed of it. You can’t do anything with this!”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” Ben was finally able to get in.

“Then what?!” snapped Hux, his eyes boring into Ben’s. “What is this?”

“It’s my account! _I’m_ Kylo Ren!” Ben almost shouted.

He could see the exact moment it dawned on Hux what was actually the case. He wasn’t being threatened or blackmailed or anything like that (which might have been better). No, he was being told that his Overwatch healslut was in fact his employee, standing right in front of him. His face went from angry to shocked and then to very clearly embarrassed.

“I don’t understand,” he said, his voice milder.

Ben didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing, giving Hux the time to let it sink in.

“Have you known this all along?” Hux asked.

“No!” Ben quickly reassured him. “I only found out yesterday, when you went on voice chat and called that guy out. I recognised your voice.”

“Christ,” said Hux, pushing his glasses up and pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I would never have... If I knew it was you, I wouldn’t-”

“I know,” Ben said, swallowing. “Me neither.”

“I’m your boss. I obviously can’t have this kind of a relationship with you - online or offline,” Hux continued.

“Yeah, definitely not,” Ben agreed. Meanwhile, his stomach gave him an involuntary pinch.

Silence fell between them again. The tension was so thick, Ben could have reached out and grabbed it.

After a very long, awkward while, Hux sighed and said, “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do: we will delete each other online, leave this in the past, and then continue our everyday lives as normal. As colleagues. The way it’s always been.”

Ben nodded. It was no doubt the best solution. It was even the solution he had preferred himself, after not telling Hux anything at all. But now that Hux said it, now that it meant that there would definitely not be anything more between them, in any way, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

Hux handed Ben his phone back. “I’m sorry about this whole situation. It should never have happened in the first place. But as it stands, I’m at least grateful you told me.”

Ben felt like he should say something, but that nausea from before had made a return, so he stayed quiet.

“I will see you at work tomorrow, then?” Hux asked.

Ben nodded slowly in answer.

“Good,” Hux said. Then, giving a final nod and a thin, somewhat strained smile, he turned and walked off.

Ben watched him disappear around the corner at the end of the block before he, too, turned to leave.

When he got home, he checked his computer. GingerSpice was no longer on his Overwatch friend list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gdi Hux. Why do you always have to be so sensible and ruin everything? :P


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how happy I am that so many of you are liking this fic? Because I am! I'm really, really happy and you're all wonderful little beans (a legit term of endearment, I swear) and I want to hug you all, okay <3

_We will continue our everyday lives as normal_ , Hux had said the night before.

Yeah right.

After a frustrated evening and some reassuring text messages from Phasma, Ben had somehow convinced his own brain that going back to work wouldn’t be a problem. But he found, the second he walked into his late shift and saw Hux behind the checkout counter chatting with another coworker, that it _was_ a problem.

Hux was dressed like he normally was, in dark jeans and a button-up, and his hair was perfectly sideswept as always. Nothing had changed about him, but when Ben looked at him now, he felt warm, and his thoughts went all over the place: from memories of what they had done online to newly formed wishes of what he wanted Hux to do with him in real life now that he knew what he was really like.

Hux adjusted his glasses, then he turned his head and looked directly at Ben. And Ben, who had never had a particularly good poker face, blushed from head to toe, before he quickly escaped into the employee bathroom. There, he turned on the faucet and splashed ice cold water on his heated face, before leaning on the sink and meeting his own eyes in the mirror.

“What did I do to deserve this?” he asked his reflection. Unfortunately, his mirror twin was as pathetic as he was, and only gave him a miserable look as an answer.

Trying to hide as much of his face as he could behind his hair, he exited the bathroom and walked out into the store. He went straight for the comic book shelves. They always needed sorting, but more importantly, they were far away from the checkout, which meant he could hide from Hux.

He hadn’t been at it for long though, when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned, found Hux there, and felt an immediate tension fill the air between them.

“Good afternoon,” Hux greeted him casually, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. As if he hadn’t found out the night before that Ben had been his online healslut.

“Hi,” Ben mumbled, his eyes going to the floor. He wished he could act laid-back too, but his voice and body wasn’t able to do what Hux apparently could. While he was standing there with his back straight, completely unashamed, Ben couldn’t even look at him without being overcome by thoughts he shouldn’t be having.

“We got new gaming figurines this morning. Could you swap out some of the older ones in the display cases?” Hux asked him.

Ben nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you,” he said. “The box is in the back.”

When he walked back to the counter, Ben made the big mistake of looking up and watching him go, noticing just how tight his ass were in those jeans. And how, he wondered, would it feel to run his hand over it?

His eyes widened and he quickly spun around, facing the shelves again, as his face once more started burning.

He had to get over this really quickly, or he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks later, Ben still hadn't got over it. Quite the opposite, in fact. The tension between him and Hux wouldn’t cease. Ben felt it clearly, and it was driving him crazy. Hux had to be feeling it too, because every once in a while their eyes would meet and they would linger on each other just that little bit longer than normal, before they looked away again and pretended like nothing: that there was no curiosity or interest or want for those things they had done online but never got around to do in real life.

There wasn’t much Ben could do to relieve the frustration he was feeling at the situation, until he decided to go back to playing Overwatch again. He had stayed away the first week after what happened, not even playing with Phasma. But then he found himself missing it, and not just the game itself, but being a healslut.

It wasn’t the same to play without a tankdom. Sure, he could try to find another, but he knew he wouldn’t find anyone like GingerSpice, and truthfully, he didn’t want to. So he played solo, following the rules GingerSpice had given him. He liked to pretend though, that he was still there, and imagined him praising him when he did good, his words from before clear in his mind as he vigorously jerked himself off after a good match.

But he was strict with himself, and he never cheated. If he didn’t play well, he would deny himself any pleasure, knowing he didn’t deserve it and telling himself he had to do better.

 

* * *

 

Ben tried really hard not to let Hux affect him too much at work, but it was almost like the more he tried to push him out of his mind, the more difficult it became to keep him at bay. He was _right there_ all the time, and sometimes, Ben just couldn’t keep his head from diving straight into the gutter.

And suddenly, he found himself in the employee bathroom with his throbbing cock out, imagining Hux’s hand pushing at the back of his head as he knelt in front of him with his cock in his mouth.

“Good boy,” he whispered to himself with his eyes closed as he fervidly pumped himself to the fantasy of Hux's fingers digging into his scalp and tugging at his hair as he sucked and licked on his cock to his heart's content.

He came at the mental image of Hux thrusting into his mouth and spilling down his throat, pursing his lips together to keep from making any sounds.

 

* * *

 

“I had high hopes for Venom, but wow. Wow! That was even better, and _gayer_ , than I ever thought it would be!”

Phasma and Ben had just been to the movies and were now sitting in the small pizza place they always went to after. Phasma was babbling about the movie, excitedly breaking down scenes and dialogues she had found especially hilarious - which seemed to be all of them.

“Mhm yeah,” Ben replied, slurping his chocolate milkshake.

“I was expecting a little more enthusiasm and a little less moping from you after seeing this movie,” Phasma said, drumming her silver chrome fingernails on the table.

“I'm not moping.”

“Oh, you're definitely moping.”

Ben groaned and Phasma cocked her head at him.

“Are you still not over the GingerHux situation?”

Sighing, Ben shook his head. “It's been a month. I thought it was going to get less awkward, but it's only getting worse, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“And there's only so many times a day you can jack off to keep the frustration at bay,” Phasma said, smiling strangely emphatically.

“Well, I mean… yeah,” he grimaced.

“I appreciate how he seemingly doesn't want to take advantage of such a young and impressionable man as yourself, but honestly…”

Ben glared at her. “Young and impressionable? Really?”

“I'm joking,” she winked, nibbling at her slice of pepperoni pizza. “Partially, anyway.”

“Fuck off.”

Phasma put the pizza slice down and gave him a serious look as she said, “What I mean is, you didn't even consider yourself remotely kinky before you got to know him, and now you are getting steadily deeper into submission territory. Which is fine, by the way! I'm happy you're figuring yourself out. I just don't want you to obsess over him because he's your first dom and because he was the one that lit your fire, so to speak.”

“I'm not obsessing over him because he was my first dom,” Ben grumbled, swirling his straw around in his melting milkshake.

“Oh,” said Phasma, her eyebrows raising. “Interesting turn of phrase.”

“How so?” he frowned back at her.

She rested her chin in her palm and studied him. “You just admitted to obsessing.”

“I’m not-”

Phasma, smiling warmly, cut him off before he could finish his protest. “You like him, don't you?”

Ben squirmed a little in his seat. “Maybe…”

“Maybe?”

He averted his gaze and bit his lip before meeting her eyes again. “Fine, yeah, I do.”

“Aw, Ben, that’s sweet.”

Ben, sinking back in his chair, moaned. “No, it’s not, it's awful! I can't function properly at work because of him. There’s this constant tension between us, and I’m going insane!”

Phasma straightened up in her chair and folded her hands on the table in front of her. “It seems to me like you have two options here.”

“And those are?” He picked up the final slice of pizza and shoved it into his mouth.

“You can either keep on pining after him for god knows how long it takes to get over someone when you work together,” she started.

“Please, no, I can't take it anymore,” Ben groaned.

“Or, you can show him what he's missing out on.”

Ben frowned. “And how, exactly, do you propose I do that?”

“Well,” she smiled devilishly, “we already know that he likes obedient boys. I say you serve him some next level obedience at work to get his attention. And maybe throw in some deliberate mistakes as well. Nothing big that will affect customers, of course, but big enough for him to notice you. You know what his likes and dislikes are at work, right? Use them.”

Ben stared at Phasma. “I can’t do that,” he huffed.

“Why not?” she questioned him.

“You know I’m not like that. Flirting and stuff isn’t something I’m good at.”

“But you did it online.”

“It was different online.”

“Why?”

“Because we couldn’t see each other,” he pointed out.

Online anonymity had made everything easy. When GingerSpice didn’t know who he was, and he didn’t know who GingerSpice was, it was uncomplicated. And it felt less real. He didn’t have to worry about being judged in any way, and that made everything a lot simpler.

“And now that you can, you somehow think you’re at a disadvantage?” Phasma questioned him skeptically.

Ben shrugged. “I’m not exactly a Don Juan.”

“This bullshit again?” Phasma said strictly. “Look, I know you think I only say this because I’m your best friend, but you’re a really good-looking guy! If you would just stop hiding behind your hair, so people could actually see you, they would notice.”

She stretched her hand out and pushed his hair out of his face. Then she smirked. “Plus, Hux has already seen you a million times. I bet he’s well aware that you’re climbable like a tree.”

“Oh my god,” said Ben, rolling his eyes, although the thought of being climbed by Hux was in no way an unpleasant one.

“If you can do it online, you can do it offline. You just need some practice. I think you might find that’s it easier than you make it out to be,” she argued. “Think of it like an Overwatch match, where he is the tank and you're the support, and you’re simply there to help him - to boost his needs, if you will. Become his real life healslut, Ben.”

It wasn’t like Ben hadn’t already thought about what it would be like to be just that: a real life healslut. But that was before he knew who GingerSpice was. Trying to get to Hux this way, using work even, was risky. And it wasn’t something he had ever done before either. Being provocative and sexy, had never come naturally to him. It was incredibly intimidating.

Still, there was something inside him that nudged at him to do it; a part of him that dared him to step outside of his comfort zone. After all, the reward was potentially a great one.

“I’ll try,” he finally agreed, making Phasma smile gleefully back at him.

 

* * *

 

Monday morning, Ben put a new paste in his hair to make it permanently stay out of his face. He felt strangely naked and on display like that, but Phasma had underlined the importance of this little change, which would inevitably make it easier to get _eye contact._ She had also ordered him to only wear his skinny jeans, because it made his ass look great. Lastly, she had made him swear to stop wearing his “stupid” hoodie jackets over his work t-shirts because they hid his physique. A physique, she had pointed out, that Hux definitely needed to see more of.

He had his doubts about this plan Phasma had cooked up for him, but on the other hand: she was really good at this stuff, while he had no idea what he was doing. So he walked into work, faking a newfound confidence in hope it would somehow have an effect.

“Hey,” he greeted Hux when he saw him. An important point in itself, as he hadn’t been the first one to say anything at all since their online personas had been revealed. He didn’t quite make eye contact on the first try, but he supposed it was better than nothing.

“Good morning,” Hux said in turn. He gave him a quick look first before turning away again, but then he gave him a second look, as if taking in Ben’s modest change. It was a small gesture, but it was very clear to Ben, and that extra look suddenly boosted his confidence, because it confirmed that Hux was definitely feeling the tension too. He was just ignoring it.

Ben wasn’t really sure what more he should do, but he figured it would come to him in time. He wanted to be helpful first of all, and then, if he felt like it was necessary, he could start making mistakes.

A perfect opportunity presented itself the next day, when a delivery of new wares came in.

“Can you help me get the boxes in from the back?” Hux asked him.

“Of course,” Ben answered him straight away. Then, because he thought it might be effective, he added: “Anything you want.”

Hux threw him a curious look, but he didn’t say anything as they walked together into the back. There, Hux started stacking boxes onto a trolley.

Hux was a skinny guy, but he clearly wasn’t weak. He could easily enough throw those boxes onto the trolley and roll them out into the store. However, Ben could do better than that. He had always been naturally strong, even when he was a stringy teenager. When he entered his twenties, he had started working on that strength and he had really filled out. So those boxes Hux was now stacking, could easily be carried two or three at a time.

“I can take those,” Ben said, squatting down to lift the boxes Hux had already stacked.

“You don’t have to-” Hux began, but he went silent as he watched Ben effortlessly pick up all three boxes.

“It’s not a problem,” he smiled crookedly, finally brave enough to meet Hux’s eyes.

“Don’t you want to use the trolley?” Hux pointed to it, blinking back at Ben.

“Nah, I’m good,” Ben answered, and then, because Phasma had told him to if the opportunity showed up, he tightened the muscles in his arms to draw attention to them.

Hux’s eyes immediately went in the direction of his biceps, and he stared at them until his brain apparently told him to snap out of it and look away.

Ben carried the boxes out into the store, then went back for more. It only took him five trips to finish, and although he clearly tried not to be obvious about it, Hux watched him all the while he was working.

When he was done, Hux nodded courtly at him. “Good job. Thank you, Ben.”

Ben shrugged. “I live to serve.”

It was funny to see how Hux, who had gathered himself after practically gawking at his biceps earlier, went even paler at those words than he normally was.

He coughed. “Yes, well…” was all he said. Then he gave Ben a strained smile and left him to continue his work.

Smiling to himself, Ben started unpacking the boxes. Maybe luring Hux to him wouldn’t be so difficult after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tables are turning. Ben is getting his confidence (and sexy) on. What are you going to do now, Hux?


	7. Chapter 7

Ben had never been that fuzzy about his looks. Through the course of his life, he had just wanted to be comfortable with himself, and not cater to other people's opinions of him. To be honest, disappearing into a crowd had been way more important to him than standing out. But he did find that being noticed had its perks too, and the effect his now styled hair, skinny jeans and bicep-revealing t-shirts were having on Hux, was more than enjoyable.

At the moment, he was changing a light bulb in the small corridor outside of Hux's office, which meant that he (even at his height) had to stretch. And when he stretched, his t-shirt slipped up just enough to show a bit of skin at his abdomen and parts of his treasure trail leading into his jeans (which he might have purposefully pushed a little lower than usual for the occasion). And although he couldn't see him, Ben knew very well that Hux only had to lean forward at his desk to have a full view of him.

When he was done, he threw a look into the office, and he found Hux typing a little more aggressively than normal at his keyboard, eyes firmly locked on his screen and his brows deeply furrowed.

 

* * *

 

On Wednesday, Ben pushed it a little bit further. He was curious as to how far he could go, but was also a little scared of what Hux might do if he snapped. The thrill of it all, was undeniably exciting.

He waited (im)patiently through the day until Hux went on his lunch break. When he did, Ben decided to take his too. He strolled into the breakroom after him, as casually as he managed, while his heart pumped a little quicker in his chest.

He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this, and he felt a little awkward about it, but it seemed to go down so well whenever anyone did it in movies, so he figured he might as well try.

Hux looked up from his lunch and the book he was reading when Ben entered, narrowing his eyes at him slightly, as if trying to figure out if he was up to something.

Ben sat down at the table diagonally across from him, giving him a smile. “What are you reading?” he asked, taking a sip from his water bottle.

A little casual conversation was probably smart to start out with.

Hux turned the book cover to him. “ _American Gods_ ,” he replied.

“You haven't read it before?” Ben asked surprised, finding it very strange that Hux, of all people, hadn't devoured everything by Neil Gaiman.

“No, I have. I reread it once a year,” he told him.

Ben nodded.

Of course he did.

Silence fell between them, and when Hux went back to the book, Ben put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a lollipop. He removed the wrapper and popped it into his mouth. Looking at his cell phone, he tried to make it as undeliberate as possible when he swirled the candy around in his mouth.

He let his tongue play with it a little, before he pulled it out, took a quick lick at it with the tip of his tongue and then put it back in again.

In his peripheral vision, he could see that Hux was watching him over the top of his book.

Ben repeated the same lollipop sequence one more time, noticing how Hux's eyes widened just a little. Then he sucked at the lollipop - hard, before pulling it out of his mouth with an obscene pop. He licked his lips slowly before taking a broad stroke at the lollipop with his tongue.

A sudden bang, and Ben almost jumped as Hux slammed his book shut and got to his feet. He glared at Ben, a few strands of his otherwise perfect hair having fallen in front of his eyes. Ben, in turn, looked back at him as innocently as he could.

Hux was fuming, and Ben was sure he was going to say something, but then he tucked the book under his arm, turned and marched out of the breakroom.

 

* * *

 

Unsurprisingly, after the lollipop stunt, Hux caught on to what Ben was doing. Ben hadn't been sure what Hux would do once he figured it out. Naively, he had mostly hoped that he would slam him up against a wall and have his way with him.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Come Thursday, Hux didn't speak nor look at him the entire day. Not a single word or even the smallest glance was thrown his way - not even when Ben purposefully rolled up the sleeves on his t-shirt, leaned on the counter and flexed his triceps while they were on checkout duty together.

Not once did he ask him to do anything, and if Ben did something of his own accord, he didn't acknowledge it.

At one point, Ben thought Hux was going to talk to him after all, as he came walking down the aisle he was working in, his eyes seemingly fixed on him. But instead of saying anything, his gaze seemed to go through him as he walked right past him, so close that they just barely brushed each other. Goosebumps formed on Ben's arm when he passed, and he shuddered.

If Ben thought the silent treatment had been bad with GingerSpice, it was ten times worse with Hux. Being ignored by a person who was in the same room as him, treated as if he was invisible - as if he didn't exist, was horrible.

This continued through all of Friday as well, when Ben began to understand that he might have bit off more than he could chew with what he had started. Hux, although knocked off his perch at first, was clearly more experienced at this game, and he seemed to know all too well what effect he had on Ben. It was annoying, but more than anything, Ben just wanted him to notice him and pay attention to him, and he was getting desperate about it.

He was sulking when he put on his jacket that afternoon to leave work. But as he passed Hux's office, he got a surprise.

“Ben?” Hux called to him.

Ben whipped around, unsure if he had heard right, seeing Hux sitting at his desk, comfortably leaned back in his chair, a neutral expression on his face.

Ben stepped into his office. Hux changed his seated position and leaned forward on his desk. He found Ben's eyes and then he held his gaze.

And held it.

And held it.

And fuck, Ben couldn't deal with how intensely those brilliant green eyes of his were digging into him. He had to look away.

“That will be all,” said Hux and turned to his computer screen.

Ben, suddenly feeling very warm and honestly afraid he would spontaneously combust, almost tripped over his own feet as he got out of the office and out of the store. Outside, he immediately went for his phone. He quickly looked up Phasma under his recent calls, tapped the call button and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he whispered as he hurried down the street to get to his bus.

“Hiya,” Phasma finally answered after eight rings.

“He knows _,”_ Ben hissed into the phone.

“What?”

“Hux,” he said, “he knows what I’m doing.”

“I sure hope so,” said Phasma, “If he doesn’t know what you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong.”

“Yes, but… he _stared_ at me,” Ben almost whimpered as he got to the bus stop.

“He stared at you?” Phasma sounded confused.

“He’s been flat out ignoring me for two days, then just now, as I was about to leave work, he called me into his office and stared at me until I had to look away,” Ben told her.

“Oh, the bastard,” she let out.

“I don’t think he likes it, Phasma. I should stop,” said Ben in a hushed voice as he got on the bus, beeped his travel card on the card reader and settled down at a seat in the far back. Hux had actually freaked him out.

“Ben, no. He’s retaliating,” explained Phasma. “He figured out what you were doing - which he was meant to anyway - and now he’s playing his hand. And I bet he doesn’t think you have the guts to continue.”

Thinking about it, that actually made complete sense. Of course Hux wouldn’t just fold and give into what Ben wanted. That wasn’t how it worked. Hux needed to show that he was the one in control and the one with all the power. And he had just thrown Ben so far off the little game he had, that he had almost succeeded.

“It’s time to play dirty,” said Phasma. “You have to figure out a way to really get to him.”

Ben sighed. “I don’t know. There’s a limit to what I can do at work.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. You’re doing great. Honestly, I never thought you'd do this good,” Phasma encouraged him.

“Thanks,” Ben smiled into the phone.

He spent that evening trying to figure out what to do that would make Hux tick. He had a few ideas, but none of them seemed quite good enough. Hux wasn’t the type of guy to get thrown off by big or deliberate things. It might annoy him, sure, but not in the way Ben was looking for. No, he had to come up with something special.

The idea hit him in the middle of the night. He woke up from a dream, knowing exactly what to do. Once he had figured it out, it seemed so obvious and so simple, and he couldn’t understand why he hadn’t thought of it before.

 

* * *

 

Ben and Hux had the closing shift together that Saturday.

Ben knew what he was going to do, but he had to wait until Hux was behind the checkout, so he could sneak into his office and do it. When Hux, after his break, took his place behind the counter, Ben snuck into his office.

He was looking for the copy of _American Gods_ he had been reading earlier that week, hoping Hux had brought it with him today as well. Keeping an eye on the door, he quickly looked around the room for it. He finally found it sticking out of his leather bag on the floor.

Feeling a little bit guilty about taking it directly out of his private bag, Ben picked it up. He flipped it open to where the bookmark was, removed it and put it in his back pocket. Then, he folded the top corner of the page instead, creating a dog-ear.

When he was done, he put the book back in Hux’s bag and left the office again.

Now, all he could do was wait. If this didn’t do it, nothing would.

 

* * *

 

There was no indication whether Hux had found out what he had done or not. Ben had seen him enter his office, but he didn’t know if he had noticed the book. He wasn’t acting like he had, and that made Ben frustrated. He wanted him to see it. He _needed_ him to see it.

He heaved an annoyed sigh as he watched Hux work on a window display, cursing himself for not having left the book on the desk, so it was more obvious. He wondered if maybe he should go back and do just that, but he didn’t dare risk going in there again.

At the end of the shift, when the shop had closed, the doors had been locked and everyone else had left, all Ben wanted to do was to go home. But they still had to do the registers before they could leave.

“Any fun plans this weekend?” Hux asked Ben as they both sat in the backroom, counting the registers.

“Not really,” answered Ben, noting down numbers on his count form as he went. For the sake of politeness, he should probably return the question, but he wasn’t in the mood. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have with Hux.

“I have a few things planned,” said Hux, finishing up his counting in record time and bringing the register with him into his office where the safe was.

Good for you, Ben thought sourly to himself, following him with his own register a few minutes later, putting it in the safe next to Hux’s.

“Have a good weekend,” said Hux.

“You too,” mumbled Ben as he went to get his jacket and leave.

He walked through the now dark store, heading for the exit, when Hux suddenly spoke behind him.

“Ben, before you leave-” he said calmly.

Ben turned to look at him. He was leaning against the door frame leading into where the backroom, office and wardrobes were. The yellow light lit him up from behind, making him into a dark silhouette. But his red hair… his red hair had a golden halo around it. “Yeah?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” From behind his back, he pulled out a book.

Ben looked at it. He couldn't see the cover, but he knew it was _American Gods_. His eyes grew a little larger and his lips parted, as excitement started spreading through his body.

_Finally._

“You know that I detest dog-ears,” said Hux in a dangerous voice, practically spitting out the last word.

He walked slowly towards Ben, and as he moved out of the backlight, Ben could see how dark his eyes were. He was gripping the book so tight, his knuckles had gone white.

“You deliberately went into my bag and defiled this book,” Hux spoke coldly as he moved. “You have gravely disrespected my property.”

Coming to a halt in front of Ben, he said, “Where is the bookmark?”

Ben put his hand in his back pocket and retrieved the bookmark he had kept there. He had been careful not to damage it. He held it out to Hux, who snapped it out of his hand.

Hux checked it for any damage, but seemed to find its condition acceptable. Then he opened the book and straightened out the dog-ear Ben had made in it. He frowned at the mark the fold left behind, running a gentle fingertip over it, as if he was tracing the shape of a newly formed scar. Lastly, he put the bookmark back in and closed the book.

“You have been toying with me all week,” said Hux darkly. “Playing seductor and getting me riled up. It's not something I particularly appreciate, and I want you tell me why, Ben. What is it that you want?”

Ben swallowed as heat pooled in his gut. Hux's words alone were enough to make every bone in his body turn to absolute jelly. He knew very well what he wanted and what he had been working for this week, but he suddenly found it difficult to speak now that Hux was standing right in front of him. His eyes went to the floor.

Hux moved even closer to him, standing himself toe to toe; so close, Ben swore he could feel the heated energy radiating from him.

“You have to tell me, Ben.” His voice was a husky whisper now, sending shivers down Ben's spine. “Use your words, or there is nothing I can do. _What is it that you want?”_

Already breathing heavier, Ben lifted his head again and looked at Hux. His face was strict, but his eyes were only questioning, waiting for an answer.

“You,” Ben finally said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what's going down in the next chapter? *wink-wonk*


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up almost a 1000 words longer than the previous ones. Because of smut reasons. Ops :P I figured you wouldn't mind, so I just went for it.

“My office,” commanded Hux, pointing a long finger in the direction of it.

Ben, a little too excited and a little too lost in this real life fantasy he couldn't quite believe was happening, didn't move.

 _“Now,_ ” Hux barked, “Do not make me repeat myself.”

“Sorry,” Ben breathed. He forced himself to move, walking quickly so Hux wouldn't get more irritated with him.

“Remove your jacket,” said Hux, once they were in the office.

Ben did as he was told, draping the worn leather jacket over the spare chair in the corner of the room. Hux was paying close attention to every little move he made.

“Elbows on the desk, head down, legs spread. Do not move unless I tell you to,” Hux told him.

Ben moved over to the desk and bent over it, placing his elbows and the flat of his hands down on the wooden surface. He spread his legs and let his head hang down. His entire body was thrumming with anticipation, the blood hot in his veins, his cock already filling out in his pants.

“Now then, let's review,” started Hux, standing himself behind Ben, where Ben couldn't see him. “This week you have purposefully tricked me, teased me, attempted to make me lose my focus, disrespected me, and ruined one of my favourite books.”

Hux put his hand on the small of Ben's back, running it slowly over the curve of his ass, coming to a rest on his right asscheek. Ben almost jerked at the touch, the feel of Hux's hand on him burning through the fabric of his clothes. But he kept himself in check.

“In your opinion, do you think you've been acting like the obedient slut you promised me online that you were?” Hux asked him, his hand gliding along the side of his ass.

Ben shook his head. “No,” he replied, a slight quiver in his voice.

“And, in your opinion, when someone displays this sort of blatant disobedience, do you think they should be punished?”

“Yes,” he answered, letting out a small groan as Hux gave his asscheek a good squeeze.

“I'm glad we’re in agreement,” said Hux, testingly giving him a light swat. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” Ben repeated.

Hux snaked his hands around Ben's hips, reaching for the fly of his jeans, and Ben gasped at having his hands so close to his cock. He was fully hard in an instant.

Hux unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, and he seemed to purposefully avoid any contact with Ben’s now straining cock.

Moving his hands back again, Hux quickly and carelessly pulled Ben’s jeans down, along with his underwear, displaying Ben’s bare ass. He shuddered slightly, partially at the cool air that suddenly ghosted over his skin, but mostly in anticipation of the punishment Hux was about to deliver.

“What a perfect canvas you have here,” Hux told him sweetly. “It’s almost a shame I have to spoil it.”

Once again, he ran his hand over Ben’s ass, but the sensation was stronger now that it was skin against skin. Hux’s hand was so soft, smooth and warm. Ben wanted to push against it, wanted him to grab him firmer, but he had to be good now. He had to keep still.

“You will let me know if it’s too much,” he said.

Ben swallowed. “Yes.”

Seconds later, the first slap hit Ben’s ass. It wasn’t that hard, but he jumped a little at the suddenness of it. He had never been slapped before; never had anyone lay hands on him in this way. He had even been too timid to do it to himself. It was something he had only ever imagined, and finally experiencing it, was stimulating in a whole new way.

“Count,” commanded Hux.

With a shaky inhale, Ben said, “One.”

Hux slapped him again, with a little more force this time, and Ben’s skin tingled where Hux’s hand hit him.

“Two,” Ben counted.

The slaps increased in pace every time Hux struck him, and what started out as stimulation only, slowly turned into stinging pain. Ben grit his teeth, breathing through the discomfort. He hadn't played nice, not at all, and he deserved every punishment Hux had in store for him. More than that, he wanted it.

“Eleven,” Ben gasped.

Hux didn't strike him all that hard, but he seemed to know exactly what spot to hit to make Ben’s skin burn the most.

He ended it at twenty - ten slaps on each cheek, at which point Ben was panting and holding onto the edge of the desk with his fingertips. His asscheeks were throbbing from heated pain, and his cock was shamelessly leaking - giving away just how much he had in fact enjoyed this treatment.

“I'm disappointed in you. I really thought you were better than this,” Hux sighed behind him.

“I am!” Ben suddenly blurted out, surprising himself with the share desperation in his voice.

“Are you?” Hux sounded amused.

Ben tried to calm his breath. “I-I can be. Please, let me show you! I can- I'll do anything.”

“Anything?” Hux purred. His hand returned to Ben’s ass, and Ben hissed as he let it glide over the now sore skin. “So eager to please all of a sudden.”

Hux moved around the desk, standing himself in front of Ben instead, his groin perfectly lined up with Ben’s eyes. It wasn’t difficult to see that he was hard, and Ben licked his lips at the sight. He wanted to see that cock, but more than anything, he wanted it in his mouth. He wanted the salty taste of it on his tongue; to lick it and suck it and swallow it - even choke on it.

Grabbing his cock through his pants, Hux said, “You want this, don’t you?”

Ben lifted his head enough to be able to look at him. Hux smirked knowingly down at him from above.

“Yes, please,” nodded Ben, squirming a little.

His eyes were glued to Hux’s slim fingers as they first unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned and opened the fly of his pants. He let them slide down his narrow hips, treating Ben to a view of pale, almost hairless thighs. Then he hooked his thumbs in the lining of his boxer briefs, teasingly pushing them down just enough to show Ben a peak of red hair.

Ben let out a whimper. He couldn't help himself. He was just about to burst from want.

“That hungry for my cock, are you?” said Hux. It wasn't a question as much as a statement, as it had to be clear to him how badly Ben wanted him.

“What have you done between the games we played and now? How have you satisfied yourself?” he asked.

Ben blushed a little. “I played alone,” he admitted in a hushed voice. “With your rules.”

“Did you now, you filthy boy.”

Hux finally pushed his underwear all the way down, revealing a perfectly flushed and erect cock mere inches away from Ben's face. Ben could smell him, actually smell the scent of his sex, making him unable to hold back the moan at the back of his throat.

Hux tutted as he grabbed his own cock, dragged the foreskin back and squeezed the head of it.

“I'm not quite sure you deserve this,” he said nonchalant as he began pumping himself. “After everything you’ve done this week, it would much rather suit you to stand there and watch me take care of myself. Don't you agree?”

“Yes,” Ben replied weakly. He blinked up at him in absolute defeat, knowing there was nothing he could do if Hux wouldn't let him.

He watched Hux as he closed his eyes and ran his hand a little quicker over his cock. “Ah!” he moaned as he pleasured himself. “That feels so good.”

Ben almost cried out in frustration at seeing him work himself the way he did, while he wasn't allowed to touch neither him nor himself.

“Open your mouth,” Hux commanded him.

Ben immediately complied, hoping that maybe Hux had changed his mind and would let him have a taste of his cock after all. But instead, two of Hux's digits found their way into his mouth. Albeit a little disappointed, Ben still closed his lips around them, sucking on them, having his tongue circle around and dipping between them. Having his fingers was better than having nothing at all.

Hux slowly slid the fingers in and out between his lips before he removed them completely and instead led them to his own backside. He made sure to turn so Ben could see him pull his cheeks apart and slide the two fingers down the cleft of his ass to his perfect, pink hole.

Ben's eyes widened and he bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Hux push his hips back and circle his entrance with his index finger - the finger coated with Ben's spit. And when Hux pushed that finger into himself with a soft moan, Ben couldn't take it. It was torture to watch - irresistible, glorious torture. He let out a sob of desperation as his cock throbbed so violently he thought he might pass out from lust alone.

“Please, Hux,” Ben begged him, his voice thick with need as his fingers gripped hard around the edge of the desk. “Please, let me touch you.”

Sighing, Hux pulled his finger out again. He opened a drawer in his desk, found a wet tissue and cleaned his finger with it. Reaching his other hand out, he ran it through Ben’s hair, soothingly. Ben closed his eyes and sighed at the gentle touch.

“Perhaps you’ve been punished enough,” said Hux, his voice suddenly milder. “I mustn’t forget that you’re rather new to this.”

He petted Ben for a little while longer, and Ben honestly wouldn’t have minded if he kept doing only that, despite both their cocks still being hard and in need of being taken properly care of.

“Up you go,” he said, helping Ben up from the desk. “Take your clothes off.”

A little awkwardly, Ben was able to shed his clothes. He would have loved to put some weight behind it, to be sensual and sexy for Hux, but he didn't even know where to start with that. Being quick and eager would have to do.

Hux gave an approving smirk at the sight of Ben's body once he was fully naked, and Ben blushed - from exposure, but also from pride. Knowing that Hux liked what he saw, was the biggest of all turn ons yet.

Hux put his soft hands on his chest, sliding them upwards to the sides of his neck, thumbs stroking the hinges of his jawline. Then he leaned in, and Ben was sure he was going to kiss him. He waited for those pale, pink lips to meet his own, but instead Hux’s cheek brushed against his and hot breath tickled close to his ear.

“Are you going to be good for me now?” Hux whispered.

“Yes,” Ben’s voice rasped shakily back at him as his heart sped up in his chest.

Hux pulled away from him again, and Ben immediately wanted the warmth of his hands back on him, missing the delicate touch of his fingers on his skin.

“On your knees.”

Ben knelt on the wooden floor before Hux, finding himself in front of his cock once more. He wet his lips at the sight of it, noticing the wetness at the head, before looking up at the man towering above him. He was no longer smirking. Instead, he seemed to be looking at Ben with a certain fondness.

“Come then,” he said, grabbing his own cock and holding it for Ben to take.

Ben inched closer to him, and when he finally wrapped his lips around Hux, he closed his eyes and let out a small sigh of relief. He allowed himself a little time to feel him before he started working on him. His cock was soft and velvety, warm and salty to the taste.

“My cock in your mouth is a good look on you,” said Hux, his voice a little more strained now.

Ben opened his eyes to look up at him, and found Hux watching him with half-lidded eyes through his glasses, his red hair somewhat disheveled. Keeping his eyes on him, Ben eased down on his erection, sealing his lips tightly around him. It was a glorious sight to see his eyelids flutter and his lips part as he did.

Hux reached out for him, threading his fingers in Ben’s dark hair. “That’s just perfect,” he praised. “You’re so good at that.”

Ben beamed at Hux’s words. He sucked his way back up the length of him, Hux letting out a moan that went straight to Ben's cock, before letting him go and licking at him instead.

“Yes, like that,” Hux continued between short breaths of air. “Keep going.”

Ben did. Nothing could make him stop sucking Hux off now that he finally had him firmly in his mouth, weighing heavy on his tongue. This was what he had dreamed of for so long, and there was nothing else he wanted than to pleasure and please and make Hux feel as good as humanly possible.

He kept working on him, sucking and lapping at him, while Hux rained words of praise over him, making Ben's own cock jump in want for something more.

“Stop,” Hux said suddenly, tugging at Ben's hair. Ben halted with his mouth halfway down his cock. Hux groaned a little before he gently pushed Ben off him. Ben, in turn, whined when he had to let go, giving Hux a pleading look. He wanted more.

Hux smiled. “Shh, you'll soon get to feel my cock again,” he told him, stroking his hair. “Be a good boy and bend over the desk for me again. Spread your legs.”

Realising what was likely about to happen, Ben felt a little light-headed. He had to take a deep breath before once again taking his place at Hux’s desk.

Hux moved behind him, and then Ben heard the sound of a bottle opening. His breath hitched in his throat as Hux put a lube-slicked finger to his rim, and he let out a broken moan, his head falling forward, when Hux carefully pushed past his muscles and entered him.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” said Hux, coaxing his finger further in. And as he did, he put his other hand at the small of his back, massaging it in short, firm circles with the flat of his hand.

All Ben could give him in answer, was a whimper.

“Have you thought about this? Have you sat at home and imagined my fingers inside of your tight, little asshole?”

“Yes,” Ben breathed, his face flushing at Hux’s filthy words. He had thought about this and so much more, vividly imagining what it would feel like to have Hux do these things to him. But even his wildest, wettest dreams couldn't compare to what was happening right now.

Hux went on to insert both a second and a third finger, slowly easing them in and out of Ben, opening him up, before Ben heard the sound of a condom being ripped open. Then Hux's cock was at his entrance, and Ben moaned loudly as he entered him, pushing his ass greedily back against him.

One smooth shift of his hips, and Hux was all the way inside him. He made a few careful thrusts at first, but as Ben let his head sink lower, resting it on his forearms and squeezing around him, silently begging him for more, Hux quickened his pace. At this point, Ben didn't want slow. He was too aroused, too hot, on the verge of overstimulated. He wanted to be fucked fast and hard - to be treated by Hux like the filthy slut he knew he was.

“Good boy. You're taking my cock so well,” panted Hux, grabbing onto Ben's hips and digging those long fingers of his into his skin.

Ben's head was swimming, drunk from the praise and the feeling of Hux pushing in and out of him, filling him up. The skin of his ass burned from the earlier slaps when Hux bottomed out and made contact with him, but Ben didn’t care.

“Hux,” he whimpered. “Please, can I- _ah!_ ”

He was broken off by another one of his own moans as Hux practically rammed into him. “Can you what?”

“I need to-” Ben huffed, “touch myself. Please. I'm so close, I-”

Hux only slowed down his pace a little, his thrusts becoming shallower, as he bent over Ben, his warm stomach meeting Ben's sweaty back. “No,” he said in a low, gravelly voice.

Ben whined at the answer, but then he felt Hux's soft hand on his cock instead, and he jolted, his legs almost giving out beneath him at the touch.

“You're so big,” Hux purred as he started stroking him in earnest, following the rhythm of his own thrusts. “So hard and so wet for me. So ready to come, aren't you?”

Ben didn't know what to do with himself. Desperate to have it all at once, he tried bucking back against Hux and his cock while simultaneously fucking into his hand, but ended up failing at both.

Hux shushed him. “Relax, let me take care of you.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut in almost painful lust and impatience, but did as he was told. He stopped working at it, and instead softened into Hux's touches and movements.

Hux stroked him fervidly, squeezing the head of his cock, and then twisted his wrist, all the while making short thrusts into him.

“Oh, _Ben,_ you feel so good.”

His name.

He hadn't realised it, but Hux hadn't used his name yet, and the sound of it coming from his mouth while he was buried deep inside him and with his hand wrapped around his cock, made Ben come undone in a way he could never put into words. He felt himself fall apart as his vision whitened and an explosion of heat shattered his entire body. He shouted in pleasure, his cock jerking in Hux's hand, spilling over him and onto the floor.

Hux milked him until his last drop, and only then did he start fucking Ben in earnest again. He went fast, pushing deep into him, before he too came with a groan. He fell over Ben, but caught himself with one hand on each side of him, panting into the back of Ben’s neck, making shivers run down Ben’s spine.

Ben, still dazed and his skin prickling from all the sensations, didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t want to. He felt Hux’s hand run down the slope of his shoulder, up his throat and to his chin. He found Ben’s mouth with his thumb, sliding it back and forth over his bottom lip.

“Did I… do good?” Ben asked in a hushed tone, catching Hux’s finger with his teeth.

Hux chuckled. “Yes, Ben, you did very good.”

 

* * *

 

After they had gotten dressed, cleaned up and set the alarms, Ben stood shivering in the cold air outside as he watched with a certain apprehension that Hux locked the doors to Outland.

What was going to happen now? Was this just a one time thing to get all the tension and sexual frustration out, or did Hux want more? Ben knew what he wanted, and he hoped he had made that clear earlier, but he didn’t know.

“Time to get home,“ said Hux, “I need a shower, and so do you.”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, pursing his lips. He looked at Hux, whose gaze lingered on him, but said nothing. Sensing the awkward that had returned, Ben decided he would rather leave than stand in it. “Okay then.”

He turned, but as he took the first step, Hux said behind him, “Where are you going?”

Ben stopped and turned back to him again. There was a strange, catlike smile playing at the corners of Hux’s mouth. “Home?” he shrugged.

Hux stepped closer to him, running a hand up Ben’s arm, coming to a rest at the side of his neck, goosebumps forming on Ben’s skin in its wake.

Ben trembled when Hux’s lips finally met his in a soft kiss, banishing all cold from his body. He was so gentle about it, so sweet, so different than what he had been like in the office. Ben grabbed him by his slim waist, a little uncertain at first, but when Hux didn’t protest in any way, he pulled him in closer, almost possessively so. And why shouldn’t he? Why shouldn’t he show him how much he wanted him? Why shouldn’t he show him how much he wanted to be his?

Hux pulled back, leaving Ben with the warmth and taste of him on his lips, and a pleasant, bubbling feeling in his stomach.

“When I said home,” Hux smiled, “I meant _my_ home.”

“Oh,” Ben let out.

“It's not like you have anything better planned for the weekend. You told me so yourself,” Hux pointed out.

“No, I don’t,” said Ben, a smile spreading across his face. Even if he did have other plans, they wouldn't matter. He would cancel everything for Hux.

“Come on, let’s go get that shower,” Hux said as he started moving down the street with Ben following him. “I just have to remember to feed Millicent first.”

Ben frowned. “Millicent?”

“My cat,” explained Hux.

“You have a cat?”

“Yes. You don’t like cats?”

“No, cats are fine,” Ben said, “I just didn’t see you as a pet person.”

Hux turned his head and smirked at him. “Yet, here you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's initially it for these nerds! It's been a really good ride, and I so appreciate all your kudos and comments. It's been so much fun to read your reactions whenever I've posted a new chapter.
> 
> I do have an idea for a kind of sort of epilogue thingy, so I'll try to get around to writing that at some point.
> 
> Thanks a bunch! <3

**Author's Note:**

> [Come find me on tumblr!](http://heresetrash.tumblr.com/)


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